YOUR KARTEL OR MY KARTEL?

It has been a long time since I've been so intrigued by someone that I feel the need to comment on them, but the dancehall artist, Adidja Palmer aka Vybz Kartel, encompasses so many dimensions and layers that I find it hard not to comment on him. His artistry is so finely intertwined with his persona, well at least his public persona. Like many a great artist he seems to have such an uncanny ability to present himself in a way that absolves him of any wrong. And for this reason, this man has not only the intrigue of Jamaicans, but for sure the Caribbean people and other persons in many parts of the world. His multitude and complexity of layers makes him so hard to deconstruct and criticize, I don't even know where to start.

EDUCATION: First I must comment on the fact that he was expelled from high school in 10th grade, but expresses himself with better decorum than many others of greater maturity and higher educational status. He read through his notes (At his UWI lecture - Mar 10, 2011) with the clearest diction, and not one utterance of an 'umm' or an 'ahh', clearly enunciating and punctuating his sentences, under the eyes of hundreds of onlooking students, media, and highly intrigued individuals. He has dispelled and continues to dispel the perception that DJs are often uneducated and unable to present themselves in different fora. But this said characteristic of extreme intelligence somewhat contradicts his extreme artistry.

MUSIC: So the said DJ who speaks the Queen's English and can counter with an answer, any question against him (as good as any veteran Jamaican politician) is the same DJ who sings "Tek buddy gal", "Virginity" and a catalogue of other songs about explicit sex amongst other controversial topics such as skin bleaching.

HIS CHALLENGES: So many Jamaicans adore 'The Teacher', as he is also called, likening himself to some kind of prophet of sorts. Many other Jamaicans on the other hand despise him for creating music that is not uplifting, music that is easy accessible and at the lips of any Jamaican child over or even under 5 years of age. They are digusted by his choice to bleach his skin and lighten his complexion, and by his choice to use his body as a canvas to his many tattoos. To them he is a negative influence. I fear some of this hatred is jealousy, as he seems to revel in the attention, creating Vybz Rum and Kartel Cake Soap (marketed as a skin lightening agent, though probably best used to wash clothes), and not to mention is own brand of condoms. I think this hatred of Kartel may be justified as it is clear to many that he has power through artistry, to influence many a mind that is less educated than himself. So it is fair to question the intent of someone who takes advantage of their influence, or uses it to capitalize in personal business ventures.

HIS DEFENSE: Kartel says he is not a political or social figure, but he is an entertainer, who sings adult-oriented content. This apparently makes it ok for someone of his influence to do as they please. This is where the debate ensues, and everyone even has to stop and ask themselves whether they like Kartel or not. For me this is not a hard answer...I am and have always been a fan of the artist. I am a great fan of the music (which I agree is for adults). What is debatable is whether and artist should feel the need to uphold any sort of SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY? I personally believe that whether you are an artist by choice or default, you become thrusted in the eyes of the public and that becomes your career. I feel social responsibility is an embedded role in that career, and one that you must embrace, even though you may chose not to (as does Kartel). Your responsibility may be to spread a message. I believe Kartel's message is one of sharing the truth of his upbringing, his day to day life and one of self-expression...that one can do whatever they please with themselves, and that is their responsibility. This message seems to also be I don't care that children understand the sexually explicit things I say because they have access to my music, I don't care that young boys are washing their faces with cake soap upward of twice a day to attain a lighter complexion, and I don't really care about what people have to say as long as I can sell my products and continue to get attention which drives my business. This to me seems to be a man on a journey to be a mogul, but not one of great morality. Should we adorn someone who is immoral is the next question you should ask yourself.

That said I have a great respect for this artist, his lyrical ability, his ability to engage an audience through his craft, and through his ability to speak his mind. I appreciate his knowledge of history and how he could make it relevant to his journey as an artist. I think the one thing I disagree with is how socially irresponsible he is, as his actions directly influence thousands of Jamaicans who feel it is ok to bleach their skin simply because Kartel does it. And many of them are not even intelligent enough to appreciate the medical side effects much less the degradation of character and lack of pride in such actions. I hope that this presentation of Kartel will make it more clear to some what to take seriously from this DJ who is intelligent to have the world in the palm of his hand, and what to ignore. I will always be intrigued by persons who can demand such attention, which also seems the be the problem everyone else is having too...good or bad, we just can't seem to get enough of Kartel.

UNBALANCED?

There are times when I find my scale to be tipped out of balance, and there is nothing anyone can do to shift it. As you grow older you learn more about yourself, almost like you weren't in your own body all your life. Sometimes I feel like different people, even though I swear I'm not bipolar or schizophrenic. I don't hear voices or people telling me to do things...apart from my mother, but that's normal I think.

This blog really has no point, apart from the fact that I was just at a party, and under most circumstances I would be loud, tipsy and dancing mad hard, but it was one of my grouch days. Yup, it was that side of me that uses my phone instead of talking to people; Doesn't make eye contact with people because I don't really feel like talking and I guess I subconsciously want them to know; Thinks about going back home to bed...He is not a fun person. He basically doesn't care...about anything, and is basically a rock, a big heavy ass rock that no one can move. Emotionless. Unaffectionate. Serious. Practical.

I think the diagnosis may be that my scale is unbalanced. The only way to fix it is for me to find balance on my own, and that sometimes takes a few days to come to near balance, and full balance clearly will take a lifetime if I'm even successful. It moves me to think if other people are in the same head space any at all, or if I'm just the social-anti-social dude that I choose to be in these moments. I think I will not go out if I ever feel this way, because I then start to think my energy is visible and that people think I'm socially awkward, which is not the case.

So I basically wanted to say that I hope I'm not the only one who can be in a public place but feel alone. It is not new to me, but sometimes it really consumes me. I clearly have a lot on my mind right now. That said thanks again for reading and getting into this crazy head.

WE YU REALLY NAME?

So this morning as I read the Sunday paper, I realized that there was a feature on a bartender at a popular local restaurant, and the name that captioned the picture, was definitely not the name on the name tag he wore in the picture. This was somewhat amusing to me, because on previous visits to that restaurant as I usually talk up to my waitress, I called her by name tag name, and she didn't seem quite receptive. Turns out her name wasn't the name on the name tag either. So I just thought I'd share that with you, because I felt like writing something, and found that quite funny today. So to make this blog post be worth your time, we shall infer a message from it, and that is:

WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT YOU GET

And that I think is a good message to keep in your minds at all times as you move through this very interesting and diverse life, because it really is sooo true.

NOT EVERYTHING THAT 'TWITTERS' IS GOLD!

So before I joined www.twitter.com, I was highly skeptical about the continuous Facebook status update. But after joining I would soon learn that this was no Facebook. This was purely its own monster!

From the actual website is the following:

WHAT?

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

WHY?

Because even basic updates are meaningful to family members, friends, or colleagues—especially when they’re timely.

• Eating soup? Research shows that moms want to know.
• Running late to a meeting? Your co–workers might find that useful.
• Partying? Your friends may want to join you.

HOW?

With Twitter, you can stay hyper–connected to your friends and always know what they’re doing. Or, you can stop following them any time. You can even set quiet times on Twitter so you’re not interrupted.

Twitter puts you in control and becomes a modern antidote to information overload.

So twitter allows you 140 characters to let people know what you are doing. Again at first you think "absolute foolishness!", because if I have more to say I can just send an email, or a Facebook message even, since Facebook seems to have replaced email anyway.

But forget only friends and family, when i can follow John Mayer, Tony Matterhorn, and famous producers, actors/actresses, models, and don't forget news networks. So twitter can be an educational experience, knowing what is going on in the world as it happens, to giving you extreme insight into the personalities and thought processes of the ones you adore and admire. You actually become their FOLLOWER...interesting.

Turns out Twitter is an excellent promotional tool, and is a great idea for anyone in any form of business that needs to reach a large audience, especially when reminding them of upcoming events etc.

This blog touches on the fact that not everything that 'twitters' is gold, and some of this is based on the experiences of many in twitterland (Sources shall remain unnamed).

The dull side of twitter includes:

1. TRY TALKING TO YOUR FAVE CELEB: You can follow the entertainers that you idolize, but like in the real world, you don't know them, so they never talk to you when you speak to them. This technically is ok, because on a regular day i guess you don't talk to people you don't know, but when you feel connected to them, especially as their FOLLOWER, you would hope that maybe once they would respond.

2. CELEB CROSS TALK: This is further amplified by the fact that the entertainers talk amongst themselves, and actually cross talk around you. Now this can sometimes be very annoying. You can't even slip a word in. Again you don't know them, so why should you care to get involved. Thing is normally when you are talking to someone else, you don't have 1500 people FOLLOWING the juicy INSIDE conversation. It tickles me in the weirdest way, and I think it is almost equivalent to WHISPERING IN PUBLIC...it's just rude! So maybe the tweet guidelines should say "Only tweet about things people can figure out".

3. OVER-TWEETING: The aim of a 140 character tweet is to say something concise, succinct...ahhm to the point maybe...ahhm "scratching my butt", "taking a pee" BUT oh no, some insist in sending 5 to 6 sequential tweets. So maybe you need to revisit Facebook, hotmail, gmail etc, because this really wasn't the intention of Twitter. A few tweets throughout the day is cool, but a page of tweets within 5 minutes is totally uncool. Control yourselves.

4. LOSING FANS: So you think twitter is sooo cool some of you celebs, but what you don't realize is that some of you are compulsive and have zero control, so you don't even know when to shut your big mouths and just keep it to a minimum. Suddenly the cool star you were to me is no longer, as you really aren't that cool in twitterland. Some of you need to consult your managers before you tweet dammit...that is if it isn't your manager that is tweeting for you, then you need to check them, cause they may be ruining your career.

5. IT HAS IT'S OWN LANGUAGE: So a when you send someone a message you send a TWEET not a TWIT. The past tense of TWEET is TWITTERED not TWITTED. The list goes on. Maybe this is funny to me cuz I pay attention to small details, but if you're gonna be a twit-whore then learn the language and be fluent in it.

6. HAVEN'T WE TWITTERED BEFORE? So if i know you and I sent you a direct tweet that you haven't responded to, don't be sending 50 million regular tweets, cuz clearly you are ignoring me cuz I know you are online. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh. That really annoys me. It's like saying you're at home on your pc tho that last message was sent from your mobile phone. It is deceptive. If you have time to be sending your page of tweets than respond to my damn message dammit.

I could go on even more. With all this said I must say I love twitter as a promotional tool, and I would encourage persons with any current business sense to definitely get a twitter account, but this note is really here to warn you about how you use all the fun things available to you on the net, like twitter, Facebook notes : ) and blogs.

NONE OF THE ABOVE MATERIAL WAS DIRECTED AT ANY ONE IN PARTICULAR BUT AGAIN ARE THE EXPERIENCES OF MANY I KNOW. THE BLOG IS WRITTEN IN PURE FUN AND JOY OF SELF-EXPRESSION. KEEP ON TWITTING I MEAN TWEETING!

THE CONTOURS OF LIFE

Life is a funny lickle ting. It always surprised me sometimes that the most stable-appearing of persons are just the ones that commit suicide. Don't worry, this is no suicide note. It is just a reflection on the contours of life. The happy days versus the sad days, and why they happen. Truth is I don't know why they happen, I only presume it is to make us stronger individuals, but what if you're just not strong enough.

I just witnessed this on Making Da Band 4. May seem lame that I watch that show, but it is really entertaining for me, probably because of my involvement in entertainment. The group almost self-destructed because of one member who at the time wasn't strong enough. he was at a point in his journey where he couldn't justify things anymore. He had no grounding. No support. Well he felt he had no support. That was probably the most important point at the end of the day, was that he perceived that there was no one listening, and that no one understood or really even cared.

I'm really in one of those slumps right now. I am probably one of the happiest persons around according to many, but right now I'm in physical pain, emotional pain, and maybe even other types of pain. Definitely nothing I would want to share with an online audience because there are lines we don't cross online. The only difference is that I think I am strong enough. Right now not as strong as I usually am, but I have faith. And when everything else around you breaks down, God never fails. I've never been uber-religious, but I do believe in a higher power, and I allow it to guide me. In Making Da band when they resolved their differences, they prayed, and then I remembered where to seek my refuge. I also remembered that there are millions worse off than me.

Right now, my physical pain seems to be resolving, but my emotions are healing again. I think I'm just tired of an unfamiliar environment. I'm tired of being misunderstood. And it's hard to be misunderstood and not have a voice to defend or explain yourself. I don' t even think I need to explain anything to anyone quite frankly, which makes this journey that much more difficult.

I'm sorry I took so much of your time on this pointless rant. But blogging for me is therapeutic. It gives insight that sometimes you can't even put into words. All I know is that I am really yearning to be with those that provide the right type of stability for me, and I need them ASAP.

Blessed love, and I will try and be strong until next time!

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

4.1.09

I just saw one of the best live shows I've seen in a while, and it was well worth my money.  As a performer it showed me where I need to be and just how much work I need to do to get there.  So many elements that need to be fulfilled - image, vocal precision and ability, crowd interaction, band interaction, a natural humility but an inbuilt confidence.  It was truly inspiring!

So you figure I would be on cloud nine with all this inspiration pouring down on me, but I couldn't help but feel insecure and somewhat inadequate at the same time.  You know seh if yu waan tun performer yu skin haffi thick thick, but I never grew up with thick skin to be honest with you.  My skin became thick with the experiences and the judgement of life, and also with getting older, so sometimes I still have my moments of hypersensitivity, when everything means more than it needs to...or does it actually mean what it is?

To preface my psychological warfare, I have to give you my background.  Growing up I wouldn't say I had a life that was hard, but it was by no means as candy coated as people imagine based on how my life appears now.  To cut a long story really short, I was fortunate to be exposed to many more things than people perceive, including teasing and ridicule.  In my opinion that has put a lot of colours in my personality.  What that translates to in real life is "OMG did Mario just say that?!" or "Is Mario dat?" or "Mario didn't start behaving like that until he started hanging out with X" or "Why would Mario go tek up himself an do dat?!".  A life plagued by judgement based on complexion, perceived social background and upbringing, and of course profession, amongst other things.  What can I say...I guess it is what it is, but I can't help but feel that I am often unfairly judged.  At times it's ok, and I can brush it off, but at other times it's just downright annoying.  If i do a dance, for some it is means for chuckling, as if I would 1. be unaware of such a move, or 2. look so odd doing it that it is amusing.  I am just tired of people projecting their insecurities onto me and then making me feel uncomfortable.  Don't feel you need to baby me because YOU think I'm an uptown yute who cyaan climb or cyaan dance or cyaan be a musician or cyaan talk patois, or neva tek a bus or wouldn't know roots reggae.  These are none of my issues, as I know I've don't all of these things, and maybe more than you would imagine.  What really bugs me is dat I allow YOU people to cause me to second guess myself sometimes, when I am fully aware of my level of exposure.

So now as I talk to myself openly I will say...STAY FOCUSED BECAUSE ONLY I KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF AND CAN ACHIEVE.  I really don't need people making me feel inadequate or insufficient or lesser than anything.  Less Jamaican, less black, less authentic, less connected.  Dear friends i ask you to try your best to embrace people for who they are and not what you want them to be.  Deal with your demons and don't project them unto others.  I've had enough years of the crap being thrown at me.  I'm really tired of doing you and me.  I just really need to do me.  I don't care how you feel about my hair or anything else you feel so strongly that I shouldn't do.  I know exactly why i'm doing what i'm doing and I have no problems with it...maybe you should try to not have a problem too.

In conclusion, I will be better in the morning.  I'm just a little annoyed with the world right now.  Stay focused and don't ever let anyone lead you off of your path!!! Bless.

WHY HE GIVES AND TAKES

With 2 more final exams and 2 more days to go before I go home, I have been more than anxious to get out of this place.  A wealth of knowledge to gain in this one night to even fathom passing these 2 exams, that have kept me from the one main thing on my mind...home.

I also had a couple other things on my mine, like why we as humans always feel inclined to know the answers?  I am strangely not one of those kind of persons.  I am extremely intrigued by life and all its dynamics, but I am very comfortable with God making the decisions as to WHY HE GIVES AND TAKES.  Not to say I am not curious, but I really try not to let it consume me, but heah, I've always been an easy going cat, so I don't let many things consume me.

I preface this blog with my exams, because I should be studying right now, but whenever these weird acts of God occur, I have to blog.  

So while walking down the street and actually pondering why God gives and takes, I was stopped by a white couple, an older man maybe in his late 50s and a slightly younger woman.  They said "Excuse me", and I turned wondering if it was me they were talking to.  Well it was me, so I approached them.  He launched immediately into his story about coming to the hospital in Boston from their home in Rhode Island.  They travelled to Boston on disability for his wife to have kidney surgery, and for some reason his wife couldn't be admitted because she was having an infection and needed to take a course of antibiotics.  Fact of the matter was they were broke and couldn't stay at the hospital because she wasn't an inpatient, and they didn't fulfill the poverty requirements to stay in a shelter.  They really just didn't have enough fare to go back to Rhode Island on the commuter rail, and were for some reason unable to travel back there on disability.  Me being the Jamaican I am, I normally can sniff out bullshit scammers a mile out.  

For some reason this seemed legit.  They had their bags and pillows and she looked quite sick and actually was very passive in this process.  They looked clean and just like regular folk who had a long day.  As to why they didn't prepare for this unfortunate event before traveling all the way to Boston, i didn't really feel was my place to ask.  

My initial instinct was to do what i normally do to people who beg me...I tell them I have no money, which is often true, but most times is a white lie (aka I have a little, but I really am not gonna give it to you right now, then I'll be like you tomorrow).  But there was something all just weird about the karma of me thinking about WHY GOD GIVES AND TAKES, and then these people interrupted this very thought by sharing their story.  Ironically I'm a black man with an non-American accent, and they ask me for help, so let's throw race and stereotypes out the door.  This man said he stopped me because i just had a nice aura (keep in mind i am always smiling, but this moment I was very serious and walking at moderate pace just deep in thought;  he coulda been charming me, who knows).  I also have medical knowledge which they knew nothing of, and the medical story was actually legit (tho most scammers usually have very legit stories).

He showed me the fare they needed and he told me they needed about 6 or 9 dollars.  I looked in my wallet to see what woulda been there.  I saw a $1 and a $5, and without thinking too long I decided to give him the $5.  They were both extremely grateful and he introduced himself and then asked me my name.  This occurrance was extremely well aligned with everything going on in my mind and I couldn't say not o these people.  Deep down I hope they are not a couple on drugs and my $5 goes to some cocaine, but for some reason I believed them, and I still do.  I felt sorry for them.  She looked sick and tired, and they had nowhere to stay, and the system had no where to put them.  Unbelievable that in such a developed country there could actually be no place to house them.  

I seek no extra praise for my actions.  It just felt like it was the right thing to do, and I always tell people Karma is a Bitch, and it will come back to you.  Today I got a cheese-covered potato from one of the ladies in the cafeteria.  They were actually all finished, but the one on display looked so scrumptious, i just said kinda matter a fact that "That potato looks nice".  After i go sit to eat I see one of the staff members approaching me, and I think she is going to sit with me and eat.  She brings a cheese covered potato and gives to me.  The lady had one prepared for me.  An trus mi dis is a self-serve cafeteria.  These kinda nice deeds hardly happen to me...and when they do they feel so special.  So maybe I was paying forward my cheese potato just now by giving that $5.

I end in prayerful gratitute, again thanking the Lord for all he has given me.  It has been an interesting journey thus far, and everyday I grow more and more and learn more and more.  My condolences to some of the families I know that have lost loved ones recently.  God gives and takes for reasons beyond our human understanding.  We must grief and they find ways to continue in our mortal world, until that realm shall become clear to us.  Until next time...lawd pay it forward to me dat mi flight nuh cancel because of snow.  By di hook ar di crook mi a get to Jamdown Satiday.  Nobady nah stap mi, all if a walk mi a walk gu dung deh!!