Original Don Dadda!

2011-03-11T23:46:00.000-08:00

YOUR KARTEL OR MY KARTEL?

It has been a long time since I've been so intrigued by someone that I feel the need to comment on them, but the dancehall artist, Adidja Palmer aka Vybz Kartel, encompasses so many dimensions and layers that I find it hard not to comment on him. His artistry is so finely intertwined with his persona, well at least his public persona. Like many a great artist he seems to have such an uncanny ability to present himself in a way that absolves him of any wrong. And for this reason, this man has not only the intrigue of Jamaicans, but for sure the Caribbean people and other persons in many parts of the world. His multitude and complexity of layers makes him so hard to deconstruct and criticize, I don't even know where to start.

EDUCATION: First I must comment on the fact that he was expelled from high school in 10th grade, but expresses himself with better decorum than many others of greater maturity and higher educational status. He read through his notes (At his UWI lecture - Mar 10, 2011) with the clearest diction, and not one utterance of an 'umm' or an 'ahh', clearly enunciating and punctuating his sentences, under the eyes of hundreds of onlooking students, media, and highly intrigued individuals. He has dispelled and continues to dispel the perception that DJs are often uneducated and unable to present themselves in different fora. But this said characteristic of extreme intelligence somewhat contradicts his extreme artistry.

MUSIC: So the said DJ who speaks the Queen's English and can counter with an answer, any question against him (as good as any veteran Jamaican politician) is the same DJ who sings "Tek buddy gal", "Virginity" and a catalogue of other songs about explicit sex amongst other controversial topics such as skin bleaching.

HIS CHALLENGES: So many Jamaicans adore 'The Teacher', as he is also called, likening himself to some kind of prophet of sorts. Many other Jamaicans on the other hand despise him for creating music that is not uplifting, music that is easy accessible and at the lips of any Jamaican child over or even under 5 years of age. They are digusted by his choice to bleach his skin and lighten his complexion, and by his choice to use his body as a canvas to his many tattoos. To them he is a negative influence. I fear some of this hatred is jealousy, as he seems to revel in the attention, creating Vybz Rum and Kartel Cake Soap (marketed as a skin lightening agent, though probably best used to wash clothes), and not to mention is own brand of condoms. I think this hatred of Kartel may be justified as it is clear to many that he has power through artistry, to influence many a mind that is less educated than himself. So it is fair to question the intent of someone who takes advantage of their influence, or uses it to capitalize in personal business ventures.

HIS DEFENSE: Kartel says he is not a political or social figure, but he is an entertainer, who sings adult-oriented content. This apparently makes it ok for someone of his influence to do as they please. This is where the debate ensues, and everyone even has to stop and ask themselves whether they like Kartel or not. For me this is not a hard answer...I am and have always been a fan of the artist. I am a great fan of the music (which I agree is for adults). What is debatable is whether and artist should feel the need to uphold any sort of SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY? I personally believe that whether you are an artist by choice or default, you become thrusted in the eyes of the public and that becomes your career. I feel social responsibility is an embedded role in that career, and one that you must embrace, even though you may chose not to (as does Kartel). Your responsibility may be to spread a message. I believe Kartel's message is one of sharing the truth of his upbringing, his day to day life and one of self-expression...that one can do whatever they please with themselves, and that is their responsibility. This message seems to also be I don't care that children understand the sexually explicit things I say because they have access to my music, I don't care that young boys are washing their faces with cake soap upward of twice a day to attain a lighter complexion, and I don't really care about what people have to say as long as I can sell my products and continue to get attention which drives my business. This to me seems to be a man on a journey to be a mogul, but not one of great morality. Should we adorn someone who is immoral is the next question you should ask yourself.

That said I have a great respect for this artist, his lyrical ability, his ability to engage an audience through his craft, and through his ability to speak his mind. I appreciate his knowledge of history and how he could make it relevant to his journey as an artist. I think the one thing I disagree with is how socially irresponsible he is, as his actions directly influence thousands of Jamaicans who feel it is ok to bleach their skin simply because Kartel does it. And many of them are not even intelligent enough to appreciate the medical side effects much less the degradation of character and lack of pride in such actions. I hope that this presentation of Kartel will make it more clear to some what to take seriously from this DJ who is intelligent to have the world in the palm of his hand, and what to ignore. I will always be intrigued by persons who can demand such attention, which also seems the be the problem everyone else is having too...good or bad, we just can't seem to get enough of Kartel.

2011-01-15T23:31:00.001-08:00

UNBALANCED?

There are times when I find my scale to be tipped out of balance, and there is nothing anyone can do to shift it. As you grow older you learn more about yourself, almost like you weren't in your own body all your life. Sometimes I feel like different people, even though I swear I'm not bipolar or schizophrenic. I don't hear voices or people telling me to do things...apart from my mother, but that's normal I think.

This blog really has no point, apart from the fact that I was just at a party, and under most circumstances I would be loud, tipsy and dancing mad hard, but it was one of my grouch days. Yup, it was that side of me that uses my phone instead of talking to people; Doesn't make eye contact with people because I don't really feel like talking and I guess I subconsciously want them to know; Thinks about going back home to bed...He is not a fun person. He basically doesn't care...about anything, and is basically a rock, a big heavy ass rock that no one can move. Emotionless. Unaffectionate. Serious. Practical.

I think the diagnosis may be that my scale is unbalanced. The only way to fix it is for me to find balance on my own, and that sometimes takes a few days to come to near balance, and full balance clearly will take a lifetime if I'm even successful. It moves me to think if other people are in the same head space any at all, or if I'm just the social-anti-social dude that I choose to be in these moments. I think I will not go out if I ever feel this way, because I then start to think my energy is visible and that people think I'm socially awkward, which is not the case.

So I basically wanted to say that I hope I'm not the only one who can be in a public place but feel alone. It is not new to me, but sometimes it really consumes me. I clearly have a lot on my mind right now. That said thanks again for reading and getting into this crazy head.

2010-07-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

WE YU REALLY NAME?

So this morning as I read the Sunday paper, I realized that there was a feature on a bartender at a popular local restaurant, and the name that captioned the picture, was definitely not the name on the name tag he wore in the picture. This was somewhat amusing to me, because on previous visits to that restaurant as I usually talk up to my waitress, I called her by name tag name, and she didn't seem quite receptive. Turns out her name wasn't the name on the name tag either. So I just thought I'd share that with you, because I felt like writing something, and found that quite funny today. So to make this blog post be worth your time, we shall infer a message from it, and that is:

WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT YOU GET

And that I think is a good message to keep in your minds at all times as you move through this very interesting and diverse life, because it really is sooo true.

2009-05-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

NOT EVERYTHING THAT 'TWITTERS' IS GOLD!

So before I joined www.twitter.com, I was highly skeptical about the continuous Facebook status update. But after joining I would soon learn that this was no Facebook. This was purely its own monster!

From the actual website is the following:

WHAT?

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

WHY?

Because even basic updates are meaningful to family members, friends, or colleagues—especially when they’re timely.

Eating soup? Research shows that moms want to know.
Running late to a meeting? Your co–workers might find that useful.
Partying? Your friends may want to join you.

HOW?

With Twitter, you can stay hyper–connected to your friends and always know what they’re doing. Or, you can stop following them any time. You can even set quiet times on Twitter so you’re not interrupted.

Twitter puts you in control and becomes a modern antidote to information overload.

So twitter allows you 140 characters to let people know what you are doing. Again at first you think "absolute foolishness!", because if I have more to say I can just send an email, or a Facebook message even, since Facebook seems to have replaced email anyway.

But forget only friends and family, when i can follow John Mayer, Tony Matterhorn, and famous producers, actors/actresses, models, and don't forget news networks. So twitter can be an educational experience, knowing what is going on in the world as it happens, to giving you extreme insight into the personalities and thought processes of the ones you adore and admire. You actually become their FOLLOWER...interesting.

Turns out Twitter is an excellent promotional tool, and is a great idea for anyone in any form of business that needs to reach a large audience, especially when reminding them of upcoming events etc.

This blog touches on the fact that not everything that 'twitters' is gold, and some of this is based on the experiences of many in twitterland (Sources shall remain unnamed).

The dull side of twitter includes:

1. TRY TALKING TO YOUR FAVE CELEB: You can follow the entertainers that you idolize, but like in the real world, you don't know them, so they never talk to you when you speak to them. This technically is ok, because on a regular day i guess you don't talk to people you don't know, but when you feel connected to them, especially as their FOLLOWER, you would hope that maybe once they would respond.

2. CELEB CROSS TALK: This is further amplified by the fact that the entertainers talk amongst themselves, and actually cross talk around you. Now this can sometimes be very annoying. You can't even slip a word in. Again you don't know them, so why should you care to get involved. Thing is normally when you are talking to someone else, you don't have 1500 people FOLLOWING the juicy INSIDE conversation. It tickles me in the weirdest way, and I think it is almost equivalent to WHISPERING IN PUBLIC...it's just rude! So maybe the tweet guidelines should say "Only tweet about things people can figure out".

3. OVER-TWEETING: The aim of a 140 character tweet is to say something concise, succinct...ahhm to the point maybe...ahhm "scratching my butt", "taking a pee" BUT oh no, some insist in sending 5 to 6 sequential tweets. So maybe you need to revisit Facebook, hotmail, gmail etc, because this really wasn't the intention of Twitter. A few tweets throughout the day is cool, but a page of tweets within 5 minutes is totally uncool. Control yourselves.

4. LOSING FANS: So you think twitter is sooo cool some of you celebs, but what you don't realize is that some of you are compulsive and have zero control, so you don't even know when to shut your big mouths and just keep it to a minimum. Suddenly the cool star you were to me is no longer, as you really aren't that cool in twitterland. Some of you need to consult your managers before you tweet dammit...that is if it isn't your manager that is tweeting for you, then you need to check them, cause they may be ruining your career.

5. IT HAS IT'S OWN LANGUAGE: So a when you send someone a message you send a TWEET not a TWIT. The past tense of TWEET is TWITTERED not TWITTED. The list goes on. Maybe this is funny to me cuz I pay attention to small details, but if you're gonna be a twit-whore then learn the language and be fluent in it.

6. HAVEN'T WE TWITTERED BEFORE? So if i know you and I sent you a direct tweet that you haven't responded to, don't be sending 50 million regular tweets, cuz clearly you are ignoring me cuz I know you are online. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh. That really annoys me. It's like saying you're at home on your pc tho that last message was sent from your mobile phone. It is deceptive. If you have time to be sending your page of tweets than respond to my damn message dammit.

I could go on even more. With all this said I must say I love twitter as a promotional tool, and I would encourage persons with any current business sense to definitely get a twitter account, but this note is really here to warn you about how you use all the fun things available to you on the net, like twitter, Facebook notes : ) and blogs.

NONE OF THE ABOVE MATERIAL WAS DIRECTED AT ANY ONE IN PARTICULAR BUT AGAIN ARE THE EXPERIENCES OF MANY I KNOW. THE BLOG IS WRITTEN IN PURE FUN AND JOY OF SELF-EXPRESSION. KEEP ON TWITTING I MEAN TWEETING!

2009-04-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

THE CONTOURS OF LIFE

Life is a funny lickle ting. It always surprised me sometimes that the most stable-appearing of persons are just the ones that commit suicide. Don't worry, this is no suicide note. It is just a reflection on the contours of life. The happy days versus the sad days, and why they happen. Truth is I don't know why they happen, I only presume it is to make us stronger individuals, but what if you're just not strong enough.

I just witnessed this on Making Da Band 4. May seem lame that I watch that show, but it is really entertaining for me, probably because of my involvement in entertainment. The group almost self-destructed because of one member who at the time wasn't strong enough. he was at a point in his journey where he couldn't justify things anymore. He had no grounding. No support. Well he felt he had no support. That was probably the most important point at the end of the day, was that he perceived that there was no one listening, and that no one understood or really even cared.

I'm really in one of those slumps right now. I am probably one of the happiest persons around according to many, but right now I'm in physical pain, emotional pain, and maybe even other types of pain. Definitely nothing I would want to share with an online audience because there are lines we don't cross online. The only difference is that I think I am strong enough. Right now not as strong as I usually am, but I have faith. And when everything else around you breaks down, God never fails. I've never been uber-religious, but I do believe in a higher power, and I allow it to guide me. In Making Da band when they resolved their differences, they prayed, and then I remembered where to seek my refuge. I also remembered that there are millions worse off than me.

Right now, my physical pain seems to be resolving, but my emotions are healing again. I think I'm just tired of an unfamiliar environment. I'm tired of being misunderstood. And it's hard to be misunderstood and not have a voice to defend or explain yourself. I don' t even think I need to explain anything to anyone quite frankly, which makes this journey that much more difficult.

I'm sorry I took so much of your time on this pointless rant. But blogging for me is therapeutic. It gives insight that sometimes you can't even put into words. All I know is that I am really yearning to be with those that provide the right type of stability for me, and I need them ASAP.

Blessed love, and I will try and be strong until next time!

2009-01-03T23:19:00.000-08:00

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

4.1.09

I just saw one of the best live shows I've seen in a while, and it was well worth my money. As a performer it showed me where I need to be and just how much work I need to do to get there. So many elements that need to be fulfilled - image, vocal precision and ability, crowd interaction, band interaction, a natural humility but an inbuilt confidence. It was truly inspiring!

So you figure I would be on cloud nine with all this inspiration pouring down on me, but I couldn't help but feel insecure and somewhat inadequate at the same time. You know seh if yu waan tun performer yu skin haffi thick thick, but I never grew up with thick skin to be honest with you. My skin became thick with the experiences and the judgement of life, and also with getting older, so sometimes I still have my moments of hypersensitivity, when everything means more than it needs to...or does it actually mean what it is?

To preface my psychological warfare, I have to give you my background. Growing up I wouldn't say I had a life that was hard, but it was by no means as candy coated as people imagine based on how my life appears now. To cut a long story really short, I was fortunate to be exposed to many more things than people perceive, including teasing and ridicule. In my opinion that has put a lot of colours in my personality. What that translates to in real life is "OMG did Mario just say that?!" or "Is Mario dat?" or "Mario didn't start behaving like that until he started hanging out with X" or "Why would Mario go tek up himself an do dat?!". A life plagued by judgement based on complexion, perceived social background and upbringing, and of course profession, amongst other things. What can I say...I guess it is what it is, but I can't help but feel that I am often unfairly judged. At times it's ok, and I can brush it off, but at other times it's just downright annoying. If i do a dance, for some it is means for chuckling, as if I would 1. be unaware of such a move, or 2. look so odd doing it that it is amusing. I am just tired of people projecting their insecurities onto me and then making me feel uncomfortable. Don't feel you need to baby me because YOU think I'm an uptown yute who cyaan climb or cyaan dance or cyaan be a musician or cyaan talk patois, or neva tek a bus or wouldn't know roots reggae. These are none of my issues, as I know I've don't all of these things, and maybe more than you would imagine. What really bugs me is dat I allow YOU people to cause me to second guess myself sometimes, when I am fully aware of my level of exposure.

So now as I talk to myself openly I will say...STAY FOCUSED BECAUSE ONLY I KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF AND CAN ACHIEVE. I really don't need people making me feel inadequate or insufficient or lesser than anything. Less Jamaican, less black, less authentic, less connected. Dear friends i ask you to try your best to embrace people for who they are and not what you want them to be. Deal with your demons and don't project them unto others. I've had enough years of the crap being thrown at me. I'm really tired of doing you and me. I just really need to do me. I don't care how you feel about my hair or anything else you feel so strongly that I shouldn't do. I know exactly why i'm doing what i'm doing and I have no problems with it...maybe you should try to not have a problem too.

In conclusion, I will be better in the morning. I'm just a little annoyed with the world right now. Stay focused and don't ever let anyone lead you off of your path!!! Bless.

2008-12-18T17:39:00.000-08:00

WHY HE GIVES AND TAKES

With 2 more final exams and 2 more days to go before I go home, I have been more than anxious to get out of this place. A wealth of knowledge to gain in this one night to even fathom passing these 2 exams, that have kept me from the one main thing on my mind...home.

I also had a couple other things on my mine, like why we as humans always feel inclined to know the answers? I am strangely not one of those kind of persons. I am extremely intrigued by life and all its dynamics, but I am very comfortable with God making the decisions as to WHY HE GIVES AND TAKES. Not to say I am not curious, but I really try not to let it consume me, but heah, I've always been an easy going cat, so I don't let many things consume me.

I preface this blog with my exams, because I should be studying right now, but whenever these weird acts of God occur, I have to blog.

So while walking down the street and actually pondering why God gives and takes, I was stopped by a white couple, an older man maybe in his late 50s and a slightly younger woman. They said "Excuse me", and I turned wondering if it was me they were talking to. Well it was me, so I approached them. He launched immediately into his story about coming to the hospital in Boston from their home in Rhode Island. They travelled to Boston on disability for his wife to have kidney surgery, and for some reason his wife couldn't be admitted because she was having an infection and needed to take a course of antibiotics. Fact of the matter was they were broke and couldn't stay at the hospital because she wasn't an inpatient, and they didn't fulfill the poverty requirements to stay in a shelter. They really just didn't have enough fare to go back to Rhode Island on the commuter rail, and were for some reason unable to travel back there on disability. Me being the Jamaican I am, I normally can sniff out bullshit scammers a mile out.

For some reason this seemed legit. They had their bags and pillows and she looked quite sick and actually was very passive in this process. They looked clean and just like regular folk who had a long day. As to why they didn't prepare for this unfortunate event before traveling all the way to Boston, i didn't really feel was my place to ask.

My initial instinct was to do what i normally do to people who beg me...I tell them I have no money, which is often true, but most times is a white lie (aka I have a little, but I really am not gonna give it to you right now, then I'll be like you tomorrow). But there was something all just weird about the karma of me thinking about WHY GOD GIVES AND TAKES, and then these people interrupted this very thought by sharing their story. Ironically I'm a black man with an non-American accent, and they ask me for help, so let's throw race and stereotypes out the door. This man said he stopped me because i just had a nice aura (keep in mind i am always smiling, but this moment I was very serious and walking at moderate pace just deep in thought; he coulda been charming me, who knows). I also have medical knowledge which they knew nothing of, and the medical story was actually legit (tho most scammers usually have very legit stories).

He showed me the fare they needed and he told me they needed about 6 or 9 dollars. I looked in my wallet to see what woulda been there. I saw a $1 and a $5, and without thinking too long I decided to give him the $5. They were both extremely grateful and he introduced himself and then asked me my name. This occurrance was extremely well aligned with everything going on in my mind and I couldn't say not o these people. Deep down I hope they are not a couple on drugs and my $5 goes to some cocaine, but for some reason I believed them, and I still do. I felt sorry for them. She looked sick and tired, and they had nowhere to stay, and the system had no where to put them. Unbelievable that in such a developed country there could actually be no place to house them.

I seek no extra praise for my actions. It just felt like it was the right thing to do, and I always tell people Karma is a Bitch, and it will come back to you. Today I got a cheese-covered potato from one of the ladies in the cafeteria. They were actually all finished, but the one on display looked so scrumptious, i just said kinda matter a fact that "That potato looks nice". After i go sit to eat I see one of the staff members approaching me, and I think she is going to sit with me and eat. She brings a cheese covered potato and gives to me. The lady had one prepared for me. An trus mi dis is a self-serve cafeteria. These kinda nice deeds hardly happen to me...and when they do they feel so special. So maybe I was paying forward my cheese potato just now by giving that $5.

I end in prayerful gratitute, again thanking the Lord for all he has given me. It has been an interesting journey thus far, and everyday I grow more and more and learn more and more. My condolences to some of the families I know that have lost loved ones recently. God gives and takes for reasons beyond our human understanding. We must grief and they find ways to continue in our mortal world, until that realm shall become clear to us. Until next time...lawd pay it forward to me dat mi flight nuh cancel because of snow. By di hook ar di crook mi a get to Jamdown Satiday. Nobady nah stap mi, all if a walk mi a walk gu dung deh!!

2008-12-14T20:57:00.000-08:00

December 15, 2008

THE TRUTH IS THAT...

I had come to a point in my life where i personally became fed up with the human need to be SAFE. Many of us dwell on safety, and therefore remain safe for the rest of our lives. This then led me to wonder why some people tend to safety while others don't. These blanket thoughts then came to mind, though I knew wouldn't encompass everyone's life story.

The 2 things in life that go against safety are DESPERATION and OPPORTUNITY, and strangely they both have something in common.

A desperate man has NOTHING TO LOSE AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN. He has nothing, so he will lose nothing, and anything positive is an opportunity to be in a better place than he currently is. These people will hop on any opportunity that is presented to them, with no fear of failure nor with insecurities of what others may think.

The man with opportunity appears to have everything, but has NOTHING TO LOSE because he has a safety blanket and EVERYTHING TO GAIN, because he has so many opportunities to do things that so many dream of doing. The opportunity to learn more than the average person would. Travel more. Meet more people. Simply explore life comfortably.

How can persons of 2 vastly different worlds have something so powerful in common. These persons are the ones that I believe step outside of the box, and make use of what is available to them to create more opportunities. It really is a simple concept, which I am sure has many flaws and counter-arguments, but I think maybe a desperate man with opportunity is one that i should strive to be. Desperate to grow. Passionate to learn. Desperate to step out into the unknown.

For once in your life, be desperate, and create opportunity for yourself. Take a step into an unpredictable world that you know nothing of, but you dream so much of...you never know what hopefully pleasant opportunity may arise!

2008-10-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

EVA GRATEFUL!!

Without disrespecting anyone who gets pleasure from working in a cafeteria or washing cars, or being a bank teller. I am just so glad I don't do something everyday that appears to be mundane. Again i'm sure someone gets a buzz out of counting cash really fast or dishing food into a plate, but I can't say I do. And if for any reason something happens to me, I hope someone had read my blogs to see that I was forever and repeatedly grateful for everything God has given me.

So I already have a degree then get to go get another one, and I excelled in the 1st and am now excelling in the 2nd. There is only one thing you can do when that happens, and it's give thanks. Thanks to whoever you want to...Jesus, Jah, The creator. Whoever he, she or it is...Jus give tanks!!

Something must be going on with me this month, because I've written 4 blogs in one month after not writing any for over 3 months, or maybe even longer. I must be getting older or just more grateful.

So whenever you are happy in your job and you have 1 bad day, just remember someone is doing a mundane job everyday and wishes they could jump off a really high building, because it may be more fun than making sandwiches. Not everyone gets the opportunity to follow a passions, if you get it, chase it like it's running faster than Usain Bolt, and if you want something, it doesn't hurt to make a try at it. One less regret in life! Do what you gotta do and be grateful. Bless!!

2008-10-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

iPhone Crazy

So this blog was of course inspired by the iPhone. Anyone who knows me knows I like cool stuff, and i really do like cutting edge technology. The problem is where do you draw the line. It's like that one thing you want really bad but know you shouldn't get it BUT you know if you get it you'll be so much happier. Maybe for ladies a pair of shoes...I'm sure when you buy it you say "What the hell did I just do", but when you're wearing it, and someone says "Nice shoes", you feel like it was worth it.

Well here is my iPhone dilemma. It kinda is almost within my means, but just ALMOST. The problem is that I just can't stop fantasizing about it. I want to get it out of my head, but then that glimmering Boylston Street store sucks me in and i go in and play with it. Advertising is a bitch, because it's really screwing with my mind. The worse part is that everyone who buys one is like a walking add, and then they make me want it more. Maybe I should only talk to people who don't own iPhones. That may be a start. Then we can find a way to get rid of the Apple store (I was gonna say the B word but I may have American persons who read this and report me to the CIA. In my home country we can say the B word without men the size of quarterbacks running out of nowhere to sack you to the floor). The B thing is just a joke i swear. The point is I need i-Therapy, and unfortunately this will only come in the form of buying an iPhone, or removing it from my mind's eye.

I mean this clearly is now an obsession since it has reached blog phase. I only blog when something is on my mind. Damn i just saw someone else playing with one. Arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggh. Am i being drawn into this materialistic world...nah. I woulda wanted an iPhone wherever the hell I was. So i guess it's time to look into doing some extra hours at work to find a way to pay that extra money on ma phone bill. We'll see. I'll keep you posted on the iPhone situation. This is way too funny. I shoulda created that "Contribute $2 to Mario's iPhone Group" before my birthday. Now I may have to wait till Xmas. But dats just so damn ghetto, but clearly i'm desperate right. Peace.

2008-10-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

Saturday Night

A born socialite some people would say I am, but sometimes I see myself as a 'social loner'. What a contradiction to believe that people really are necessary for your existence, but at the same time really enjoy being by yourself.

I grow extremely introspective after nights out in this weird little college city. Just really makes me miss home more than anything. To get along with people and to feel like you truly belong somewhere are 2 vastly different things. Looking on the world up to 10 years ahead of a lot of the people in the same room as you also puts a crap load of perspective on things. You realise you have no answer to questions like "Why aren't you dancing?", or "I'm surprised a Christian guy like you would be seen at a shindig like this". If only these kids knew I've danced against that wall already, and gotten tipsy and danced till i felt stupid, and danced with all the girls in the room.

I guess for some that routine never gets tired. And for some it's their first time, they're new to this. For me i've been there and done it longer than I think i needed. Now i only need it occasionally. Plus when it's done here it's not like home and not ever really close to as good as at home. I always had trouble putting my heart into things I didn't believe in. If i can't feel it genuinely then i can't really put any genuine emotion into it.

Maybe this blog contradicts that I'm a loner as I choose to publicly ramble early in the morning about myself. At the core of this I just miss what is familiar to me, and when that is missing from your daily routine for a while, you find that you are never really sure about what is real anymore. I know home is real and those people in that life are real. In this life here I'm not really sure what's real.

All just kinda weird to me. Is it just me feeling this way? Then everything starts to annoy me...especially the carelessly drunk people. The people making out on the dancefloor annoy me. The people who always think i'm nice 100% of the time...you annoy me too.

I again yearn for hot weather, familiar accents and food, and people I know I can trust and depend on all the time. I already know there is no life on this land for me, because my love for another is way too strong for me to exist here. And yet still people don't know where I'm from, but the truth is I don't really care anymore if they know. What's more important is that I'm fully aware of who I am and that's all that matters.

This is my blog so I don't even care to apologize for my unfocused writing, but I may regret opening such a large window into my personality, or maybe I won't. Yo just have a good night. Like clockwork I should be fine by morning.

2008-10-04T23:45:00.001-07:00

NOT FROM HERE

How do you explain "Out of Many One People"

The unusual tug-of-war between pleasance and aggression

Uptown versus downtown

Browning versus Blacknin'

Patios versus Standard English

How can I explain why...

I miss this damn place so much

Yet it seems so imperfect

Has anyone been so in love with an imperfection

Maybe obsessed, but not in love

This imperfection is one of my favourites

Perfecting it may make it better

But sometimes I like it just for what it is

Somewhat raw and at times unsophisticated,

Yet warm and genuine

That is exactly what gives it's character

It always reminds me that I have never wanted to be from here

Well I lie. I did when I was in my imperfect world as a child and thought

Wow, this place of Mattel toys and fast food must be the best place ever,

But now that I am living here in 4-monthly spurts

All i can say is that it's full of as much shit as anywhere else

And my jerk chicken, ackee and saltfish, dance a road every weeknight and terrible customers service really has more to desire than I had thought

I now relish my culture.

I obsess over it

I'm proud of it

Almost willing to die for it

Mi love it cyaan dun

Why would anyone want anything else

I'm really happy I'm not from here!

2008-10-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

TOO...

2:23am

Too young to look old

But too old to care

About that drunk girl who just passed me on the street

Blouse strap dangling mid-arm

Too weak to pull it up

Too disoriented to care about being a target

Smart enough to notice

But too ambivalent to care

About that asshole that just called me an asshole

If only he knew anything about me

Or where I'm from

Or about how rude he just was

"Such a nice person"

But yet so insensitive and selfish

To realize that I just hurt the feelings

Of someone who cares about me

More than I could ever imagine

Still present

But yet so distant

That I don't even care about

Where I am, who I'm with,

Or how I'm going to get to where I'm going next

To be detached sometimes can feel so sweet

But so lonely

It's only cool to be alone when you've forgotten what it is like

Then you yearn for companionship once you're lonely again

Too distracted right now to shout

At that loud girl in the alley

If only she realized it was almost 3am

But maybe her blouse strap is mid-arm

And maybe she is too selfish to realize she's hurting my feelings

Too artistic to alter this expression

To fit the needs of others

Too young to look old

But too old to care about what people think

About me or my behaviour

Always aware of great friends

And great things when they come by

And family, the rock of support

Well in my life

Love, laughter, life, defeat, rejection

Always a Jamaican

Black, Green and Gold

To di werl we go

Without boundaries

But with an appreciation of life

Tarnished with hardships

Tailored made for each and every one of us

Too hungry to care about my diet

Too happy to have a bed to sleep on

And food to eat

And so happy I got to write this

Now i'm too young to look old

But too old to care about NOT being out on a Saturday night

Now it's time for bed

After running that crazy maze through my head

2008-10-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

JUST BECAUSE

October 1

I figured it has been since around forever, and the purpose of this thing is self-expression right? Or at the least keeping people informed about life over here. I think Facebook took over the world and people stopped talking on the phone and going out, and writing blogs.

Well here I am once again. I missed you guys and gals, whoever the hell you are that reads this crap. I'm home on a Thursday morning with a sore throat. I should be doing work or sleeping, but I'm doing neither. It is funny how your concept of productivity can be shattered so easily by idle distractions...God bless 'the focused' cuz they are few and far between.

As I randomly babble, I just want you to know that I'm alive and well, and look out for some more serious blogging again soon. I have so much to be grateful for. I figure I may at least leave a legacy in blogs. Someone may find em and use them one day if I ever become important...and hopefully not against me. It's all good though, there is nothing here I wouldn't tell you to your face, or tell Oprah for that matter! LOL.

It's late and I'm tired. Have a great night. Pray i get better soon, and God is an awesome God. The things he does is unspeakable, and that is all I have to say to that. Thank you Lord for everything! Nite!

2008-03-11T11:06:00.001-07:00

RACISM MAYBE?

It’s 2008 and you would think many things would have changed by now. Being raised in Jamaica exposed me to many things that I know many other people in the world for sure don’t experience on a day to day basis, but racism was never one of ‘em, especially in a country that is ~90% black, and for sure is more ‘class-ist’ than anything else.

This is where I segue into my ‘experience’ as I will refer to it form here on in. So I’m in a grocery/deli store in Seattle on 03.10.08 with two friends. So there is a lady at the bookstand reading, holding the leash of her jet-black Labrador in her hand. One of my friends starts to pet the dog and engages her in conversation. My other friend also starts to play with the dog. Strangely enough I wasn’t interested in playing with the dog, even though I love dogs. I smile at the lady, and that’s about all the interaction we really have. Keep in mind, my friends and the lady was not of my skin tone, to be politically correct.

This is where it gets good…So the said Labrador has a collar with a blinker on it. My friend then says “I see you had to put a blinker on him”. The owner of the dog then responds “Yeah cuz at night sometimes people may not see him especially going around corners”. So far you notice I am telling the story very storybook, because in a lickle I might waan bruk weh and get on baaaaaaad! But as the story continues, I then chip in and say “Cuz he’s black” (hence the need for the blinker). She then responds, “You would know what that’s like”, with a smile on her face. Me not being used to blatant racism or inappropriate racial statements, had a little chuckle and then immediately turned around and looked on my friend with a weird look. My initial instincts were to walk away, and walk away quickly, which is just what I did. I walked quickly out of the awkward silence, and ignored my other natural cultural instincts to chop her a rahtid box. And the only reason I’m comfortable speaking like this now is because of how upsetting this experience was to me, and because I’m GROWN now, so if you can’t handle the fire, step out of the kitchen.

Realistically speaking though, do people still say inappropriate things like that? I was appalled. “You should know what that’s like”. I should know what dat is like!! I wish I was an angry black person just for a split second, so that my reaction time could have been so fast that I could have said something equally inappropriate and made her feel awkward, BUT you know what, my wonderful parents taught me better. So I walked away like in those say no to drugs campaigns. I mean could you see the flip side of this story. The newspaper would read:

“Angry black Jamaican man assaults woman in grocery store, who simply made an analogy between her dog and his complexion. The man is a college student and will immediately go to court. He is currently in jail on no bail, and is likely to be up for deportation.”

When you look at the situation like that you realize it really isn’t worth stooping down to a low level. Another outlook could be that she really didn’t mean it in the way I took it, but based on my lack of exposure to such things, I find that hard to believe. I really would love to know how you all feel about this?

Again, I’m still just in sheer shock that people say things like that. In all my years of life I’ve never experienced any verbal racial commentary. It has had me deep in thought, and reminds me that no matter the amount of crap in my home country, nowhere no sweeter dan yaaaaaaad!

2007-10-23T18:48:00.001-07:00

23.08.07
CARIBBEAN SINTING!!

Well it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, which seems to be the entry to all my blogs now. Maybe we can just establish that they may be written 3-monthly or so. This blog is well warranted though. It is the ‘Memoirs of my Caribbean Vacation’, and trust me there were no Geishas here.

Barbados
So we arrive in Barbados quite excited about the days to come and how interesting and fun they could be. We arrive at our resort in Rockley, which reminded me of ‘The Point Village’ for all those who have been there…u know dat kinda kitchenette vibe, pull out bed. It actually was quite nice. Got to link up wid ma good friend Janella who carried me out to “Threesome Wednesdays”. Quite glad I went now in retrospect cause it was the only partying I did on the trip. Bajans turn like we now, and party on a Wednesday night (reh to the Wednesday Quadites)…Granted most people looked like the age where they didn’t have work the next morning and it was summer.

So interesting things were that the women were nice but not as nice as Jamaican girls. The next interesting thing is what my fren refers to as WUK UP. The Bajans have dat down pat. For the girls fine, but for the men, I could only describe it as a type of gyration that if Jamaican men were to do it, you know dat a boom-bye-bye woulda come to dem. And strangely it didn’t make a lot of dem look ‘off’. It was quite an interesting phenomenon to me. I actually sampled a Bajan wine myself from a quite talented lady, and I must say it was good, and quite different from mi Jamaican wine…but definitely comparable (maybe at points better…point where I dodge bottles)

My dad’s friends took good care of us and made dinner for us and carried for lunch and stuff. They really added that nice personal element to our trip…thanks a mil!

Apart from that, Tropical Storm Dean dat punk, became a Cat 2 hurricane and passed north of us in Barbados, so dat meant wind and rain and no more partying for my other nights, which sucked. In the end Dean did treat BIM good, and suddenly it’s time to go to Grenada.

Grenada
So we went the Grenada Grande Resort. Quite a Grande you know what. In all honesty the staff was nice, but Grenada is just a real quiet country. Shops closing at 1pm on a Saturday…like what the hell?! Yu ever see anything like dat yet. Worse pon a Sunday the place jus lock down! We drove around the entire island on Sunday and not even a pan chicken man yu could fine on the roadside. Like c’mon, does anyone buy food on the road here? All we could find was roast corn…and we meant roasted without the husk, so u can just imagine how dat look when some of the kernels bun up. Anyways, we went to Concorde falls, which was real cold and nice.

The drive was a welcome distraction as our country was being pummeled by Cat 4 Hurricane Dean. Luckily for us, or I should say God-blessed, the eye passed jus south of us, but our country still sustained significant damage and at least 4 deaths.

Linked wid some a ma dad’s friends and they picked us up and treated us nice as usual…looks like pops gots friends in different area codes, jus like I got…(pause for comic relief to all Ludacris fans). So Grenada’s most eventful thing was the all island drive and the falls and of course the friends. Oh how could I not mention that beautiful white sand Grand Anse beach…dat really mek it, an nobody doan harass yu or nuttin. Do u believe I had to pay for internet too. Like it’s 2007, c’mon, include Wi-Fi. And this blog would not be complete without talking about the restaurant at the hotel. So we like waited 10 mins for the food, and then they put us at this table beside another table that had like 3 generations of fly families on it, with cousins, aunts, uncles and all. The service sucked and guess what they only had eggs and bacon…hmmm, why be in the Caribbean then…and this hotel is about to become a Crowne Plaza. So it’s off to St. Vincent.

St. Vincent
Vincy, Vincy oh Vincy! We come to Vincy and stay at the Mariners Hotel, which was like a really nice, quaint place. I would recommend it to anyone looking for an inexpensive place to stay in St. Vincent. The part of Vincy you guys will love is the mini-bus ride. Vincy mini bus come in like fi wi own, but just as bad, or even worse. My friends from Vincy may disagree, but mi a tell yu seh it bad. And for all a you who tink mi neva tek no bus, mi did tek enough bus inna mi high school days fi know a good one from a bad one. What mek it worse is dat on our return trip to our hotel, one lickle dutty yardie Vincy gal waan tek mi on bout how mi…lickle me…a cause trouble pon di bus. Now my Jamaican friends, you all know me and my demeanor, now you believe seh I was causing trouble on any bus. The long and short was dat at the bus stop my dear friend needed to get out of the bus. We were on the back seat and I was obscuring her. This meant I needed to move, BUT the girl infront of me was on what I thought was the flip up seat. Little did I realize the said flip up seat was fixed to the side of the bus. In my ignorance I say “So the girl coulda get up”. And she (yaadie Vincy) then decides to cuss about me giving trouble in the bus. I then say, “So why yu complaining?”. She then starts to raise her voice at me. I then go “Shhhhhhh”. And her response, “Who yu a Shhhhhhh…yu doan know me!”. Is a sad ting I look so young and my parents were there, cah she doan know me,. I did waan tell her bout the colours of the rainbow, cah me did well RED, but I held my tongue and fortunately we were at our stop. No disrepec to a Vincy, but I’m a Jamaican and no gal inna Vincy bus going dis mi. Well she did and get weh, but is only due to the circumstances. I really had to cool down after that tho, and is a long time I never feel so violent and aggressive. And if yu ever see ar too. But God knows what’s good and he protects me everyday. Dat was a ‘Walk Away Moment’. Thank you Jesus!

So the next day was the Grenadines tour. This was awesome. We flew to Union Island and took a Catamaran to like 3 islands. All inclusive food and drinks, snorkeling…it did mek it! This was definitely one of the most eventful moments of the trip from a tourist activity point of view. The French restaurant on our compound was awesome as well. The food was great and we complimentary drinks for flattering the owner on their excellent service etc. And strangely it’s the next day and we’re off to St. Lucia.

St. Lucia
Land of the Pitons, St. Lucia Jazz Festival, a semi-active volcano, and the Dornelly’s Inn. Most of you probably haven’t heard about the last one. Well if ya didn’t know well you about to find out. LOL. The Dornelly’s Inn is where we would stay for 2 nights. Kinda far from the airport, but like 15-20 mins far, and up a little road that look like roun’ where my parents come from (aka BUSH). So we stumble upon a 3 story building with 2 tractors on property. The lovely reception area has areas with no ceiling, and the hotel pc uses dialup internet. I nah fight gainst or nuttin. Just that when you know what you going to get for yu money daz one ting, but when the money yu paying deserve more, den yu haffi criticize. I sound like such a snob in this part of the blog, but you had to see this place. We stayed in far superior hotels that cost like US$5 more, so u have to understand. Well more minibus to the city which like all Caribbean cities have a market and nuff activity.

Rented a car and drove around the beautiful island of St. Lucia. Now if anywhere comes close to or beats JA in parts where beauty is concerned, then it’s here.

Antigua
This blog had been on hold until today, October 23, cuz I jus hadn’t finished it. I had to stop cuz Antigua was just absolutely nice, and we only stayed there overnight so that we could get a flight the next day to our wonderful hurricane beaten JA. We stayed with one of my dad’s friends’ house. And what a house it was. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a house that is so pristine and so well laid out in terms of design and decoration. This house was absolutely amazing and was far better than any hotel. We had an excellent host who took us out to dinner and what can I say…Goes to show that some bonds and relationships are really life-long, and that in years to come you may go to the country of that person you were in university with, and they’ll actually put you up, kinda like how you joked about it greater than 20 years before. Life really is amazing!! The restaurant we went to was an old fort and the view was absolutely beautiful. Then the next day it was off to yaad.

BACK TO YAAD
And what can I say about yaad. Yow yaad yu look kinda pop-dungish, but it’s DAMN GOOD TO BE HOME.

2007-05-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

AWAKE IN A NIGHTMARE

Hey all, it's been such a long while hasn't it. Seem like the novelty of the good ole blog vent wore off on me. But that's not really the truth. Just working hard on developing my self-expression musically as well.

For the first time in my life i've felt like i woke up in a nightmare, but was really really awake. The call that my brother was in an accident was like no other. I felt like when twins say they feel the pain of their sibling when they are hurt. I wasn't even at home when i heard, and i had no details. Palpitations, mind-wondering, instincts tell you to go home...but where is home. It's a dorm right now...But that's not really home? Autopilot takes me to my pseudo-destination. What to do? What can i do? Worry. Pray. Doesn't make sense to cry cuz i don't know what's happening.

I tell yu people, this moment is likely to happen to all of us at some point in our life. Some have been unfortunate to have it happen many times. Others like myself have only had a few, and we thank God that they all have good endings, like this one will.

We mourn the lives lost in this tragic accident and pray that their families are ok. I would love to know who they are personally so i could send them my well wishes or even attend the memorial services. I thank God that my brother is alive and improving. This will be a new start for him, and i am so ready to help him on his way to recovery.

The frailty of life is only a millisecond away from us all, but we are not always aware of that millisecond, until it's on a clock that we can see. Live your lives to the fullest, and in a holy and righteous way. We have no other purpose but to help others and serve our Father. Thank you for all the support. I know the love that is had for my family, and likewise the love i have for you all. Thanks. Peace. See you soon.

2007-04-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

LONG TIME

Bwoy i've been not nice to my bloggers, and now i decide to write after having a bit of Appleton. Is that what it takes for an update. LOL. Bwoy yu wonder why people drink sometimes, but after a hard week, i really cyaan seh dat this wasn't well deserved. You all already know i'm not an alcholic, so no need to worry. I know if other persons had this bottle of V/X since January, it could have been finished in 1 go. I won't call any names Dad, ROCKY, KIBBO, ahm that was not called for. But unnu know weh m i a seh.

All i can seh us lawd a miss yaaad! Mi neva know seh mi coulda love on place so! Jamdown fi life mi tell yu. When i had my drink i was listening to Sean Paul and i actually was dancing in my room at home for a while. It was real nice. Well since i'm not in my real room, i do have classes tomorrow, cuz it's Friday. I also have a gig wid the reggae band from school, and would you believe your one and only Mario is singing "Or Wah" by Capleton. How funny is dat? You know i wouldn't even dare try something as crazy as dat in JA, BUT TRUE SEH MI DEH INNA FOREIGN mi can get weh wid dem madness...cover Capleton...yu mad!!! Who woulda dare tek dat on.

Classes goin real well. Got real good midterm grades, and plan to do no less in the finals. So it's on. Your boy has decided to major in Songwriting and Music Business/Management come next semester. And i will get to learn some piano again doing the songwriting major. So i'm excited about that. Threw the performance major out the door. Real performers learn from experience and observing other good performers. Likewise some have natural songwriting ability, but there are tools that school can give me in that regard which you can use to imporve concepts. So i have picked what i think are 2 very practical majors, and i can handle the work load of both.

Just wanted to let ya'll know again that i miss you like crazy, and i'm jealous that you're there in the sun and i'm here in the cold. It actually is cold again. And it's Spring. Dis ya place mad like. All i nall your boy is good. Real good. Singing till mi voice almost gone, and definitely believing in myself more as a musician.

Everyone can feel free to link me at maregut@hotmail.com. I can give you other contact details from there on. Love unnu. Peace.

2007-03-14T16:13:00.000-07:00

JUDGEMENT

It's been a while bloggers. In summary i'm real good, and i miss home like maaaad, but lovin' this school. So that works right. So lemme launch into what's on my mind today.

I've never thought of my self as real judgmental, but it really dawned on me that as humans we all are by nature. It's how we form our opinions and make decisions. Some are just more judgmental than others, as well as some are just more vocal about it than others. So you'll have those terribly quiet people who you think are not judgmental who really are, and vice versa and all the other things inbetween. An trus mi, some of us may be more judgmental than we think. Did you know that it can be spelled with or without the 'e'.

Well anyway, all of this is stemming from a few silent judgments i've made recently which silently bit me on my ass. Good thing they were silent, so that i could learn from them well SILENTLY...but very productively. Well 1st instance is this very nice girl who happens to be white, who made some statements that seemed kinda weird as well as weird behaviour to support it. Funny how when you get into the USA race becomes so much more of a dinner conversation. Long and short is i made a judgment about her in my mind and was later proven wrong. I even feel uncomfortable writing the whole story. When ya'll see me in person i'll tell you what happened.

And here you just meet so many people who's insides are so different from their exterior, which really is something i've always knows, and i guess is just life. Now more than ever it is glaring brightly at me. Makes me really appreciate how Jamaican people jus tell it like it damn is. Makes me love my bad customer service a lil more. No candy coating, jus the real deal as it come. And there are just those few days when i can do without the candy coating. Granted in Jamaica we may jus have too little bit a canfy, but you see where i'm going.

MORAL OF THE BLOG: Don't judge anyone. We are mere mortals. God or whichever higher power you believe in will be the judge on judgment day. Keep being good people and focus on dat! Love unnu.

Mi belly a lil smaller than before i think, but it a gimme hell fi lose. Working on it.

MARIO

2007-02-21T19:27:00.000-08:00

TIRED

Just wanted ya'll to know that i'm getting good grades so far, and today i'm really tired, and i have more to tell you, but i'm waiting till the weekend. You'll like it. No i haven't gotten a record deal. LOL. And hope ya'll saw American Idol Wednesday night...there's a girl named Lakisha...she cam eto do damage. Jennifer Hudson, watch out now!

2007-02-19T13:29:00.000-08:00

GOD'S ANGELS

I believe in God and the religion Christianity, but sometimes we only have occasional encounters of Angels helping us in the flesh.

Something just happened to me, which in all my 27 years has never ever happened with the ease that it did. It showed me that it could only have been God directly acting at that moment. I had to run to the PC and document it by blogging, and of course sharing the experience with my friends and the world

What happened was that i went to pick up my component set at Radio Shack. Of course I'm a student in Boston...i don't drive. No one on my floor was really around for me to ask for help, and heah, i carried back the initial one i bought by myself on my hip (in it's box of course)...so this couldn't be that hard, right?

Well when the box was being carried out by the rep, already it was about twice the size of the initial box. I estimated about 30 mash pounds. He somehow got it into a large plastic bag, but the handles were already stretching from the weight of the thing. Well i got the box out the door of the store for starters....Bwoy the journey looked tretcherous, plus ice on the ground. Di mount a time mi almost bruk up mi bam bam with nothing in mi hand, much less mi 30 mash pond appendage.

My journey was only a few steps when i already had to take a break, so i knew this was going to be rough. Walk, muscle pain, rest...and di muscle pain did even worse cah mi go gym dis morning. Whoa wha mi ago do! I make it across the road and rest the box on the steps of an apartment. Then comes a bright-eyed female, who was actually about to enter that apartment, and saw me struggling. She first asks if i'm going inside, and i say no. She then immediately asks if i need help to carry the box to where i'm going.

Now she doesn't know me number 1. Number 2, i'm not the racial chip on the shoulder type, but she's a white female and me a black male. Number 3, She nuh know how far she a go. Well i accept the offer, but in the initially refusing kinda way. She tells me her name is Brittany. She speaks of her love for God and Jesus, and that she's a Christian. She has even been to Jamaica to do missionary work, and had been there for vacation as well. This must have been an angel! There is no possible way that me a stranger in Boston could have met another person who helped me to carry a 30 mash pound box when i was really in need of the help.

She carried it with me right to the front door of the dorm and i thanks her endlessly. God if you were showing me a sign, i saw it. I was almost blinded by it. I think this moment will stay with me for a while.

In a world perceived as being so selfish. One person was absolutely selfless, and seem so fearless and genuine about it. I am blown away. The box remains at the door unopened because it was definitely more important for me to acknowledge her than to see how the system works. And on that not i hope it works, cuz i won't have Brittany to carry it back if it's faulty. LOL.

But on the real though, I say a prayer of thanks to my Lord. I am grateful for all you have provided and continue to provide. I hope others have these same moments that allow them to see your grace. I am awed! Thank you. Amen.

2007-02-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

JUST INCASE

Just incase you forgot what I look like...

My hair is growing higher as is my knowledge,

My smile wider, with gratitude for what the creator has given me,

My memory longer, not to forget the many who have inspired me,

My soul deeper, to contain the overflow of my spirit,

My patience thicker, to withstand the wear and tear of life,

My complexion lighter, with the absence of the sun, but my heart filled with the pride of my country...JAMAICA, my land, my love.

My voice clearer to be more easily heard, but not loud enough to be overbearing,

My faith renewed to continue to believe in all, that so long I haven't seen,

AND

My legs stronger, to carry the weight of these many growing dimensions which develop me...

Just incase you forgot what I look like.

Inspired by life. Written 10:27pm by Mario Guthrie on 15/02/07

2007-02-06T18:43:00.001-08:00

UPDATE

Hey bloggers, jus giving ya'll an update. Just went to the Reggae Ensemble...they play everything there from reggae dub to dancehall. The ensemble is worth 1 credit, but my credits are full to the brim, but i'm still gonna do it, cause there is no better reminder of home than to hear some reggae, and not jus Bob Marley (No disrespect to Uncle Bob...Oh and Happy Birthday Bob, Jamaica loves you!). I have to make a CD tonight with music i'd like to contribute. I played "Weddy Weddy Time" by Voicemail in the class, as well as Ritchie Spice "Youths are So Cold", and he liked them both. So i plan to put some Junior Gong and Tanya Stephens on the CD as well...i could put anything, there is so much. Have to give it in by tomorrow tho, so that limits me...feel free to email anything to me or suggest anything (maregut@gmail.com). The music library kinda scant inna di winta!

So that was a good experience. The lecturer is from St. Kitts, hence the Caribbean influence. He also has a Caribbean ensemble that does soca, so Caribbean music is well represented here...and the musicians actually do a good job at playing it. Nothing beats Jamaican musicians playing Jamaican music, but these guys are damn good!

Now time for my funny moment. I enter the library, and this guy from South Korea is reading. He doesn't even say good afternoon or anything. He just calls me over and asks me what a word in his novel means...almost simultaneously he asks, "Where are you from?", in a dry type of tone. I say "Jamaica", then he says, "It's ok, its's alright", almost sending me back to my seat. LOL. Mi glad mi a get ole, cah if mi did inna mi ignorant days mi woulda get hignorant! Oh the word was "TURD". So for all you English majors you go look dat up. The sad part is i was so familiar with the word, but no definition was coming to my head, so i couldn't at that time even be witty and disprove whatever was going on in his head. This is where misinterpretations is a bad thing. Homeboy probably was just frustrated and decided not to bother asking me again and figured he'd find out on his own, cuz it all happened pretty quickly OR we will hope that it is not because I'm Jamaican and we don't speak "perfect English", as i'm told i speak, which seems to be quite a novelty. At least we know what the world thinks about our English (Well some parts of the world). Of course mi jump pon mi Mac dictionary and look up turd...it would have been the perfect word to be witty with. Oh what a shame. Foe those of you like myself who did not have an immediate memory, it can be defined as A LUMP OF EXCREMENT; Often used in Golf, and also refers to someone who is obnoxiuos.

Well i'm learning to ignore TURDISH behaviour, cause only ignorant TURDS conduct themselves that way. Now i shall elevate myslef and not offend anyone. But how offensive. Now that i have blog vented again, i must say i am in such a good mental state that not even a TURD could sidetrack me, so God bless that.

Oh this blog is getting long, but if i don't talk about this i won't forgive myself. Went to this meeting yesterday..."Songwriting Club"...it was off da chain. All i have to say is dat this school have some crazy talent. CRAZY!! I had only got 2 myspace pages at the time, so i'm gonna gi dem a buss. This guys is like already signed in my books...from Scotland, and a voice like no other. He had the ladies weak, and had me speechless. he is Jonathan Carr (www.myspace.com/johnathancarr88). He's only 18, but he is AWESOME. This other guy goes by the name Deffy and you can check him out at www.myspace.com/deffymusic , and there were so many more awesome musicians. I'll continue to send you myspace links.

A good lesson i'm learning is that as a vocalist you should focus on learning songs and song words. You never know what someone might want you to sing. A good start is to make sure the songs that you like you know them inside out. One day it will pay off i assure you.

JAMAICA JAMAICA...MI LUV UNNU. PEACE!!

2007-02-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

NOT ENOUGH

Not black enough
Not white enough
Not tall enough
Not short enough

Not patois enough
Not English enough
Not Westmoreland enough
Not Jamaican enough

Not sharp enough
Not flat enough
Not R&B enough
Not reggae enough

Not fat enough
Not slim enough
Not him enough
Not her enough

Not woman enough
Not man enough
Not gay enough
Not straight enough

Not nice enough
Not mean enough
Not here enough
Not there enough

Not smart enough
But definitely dumb enough
To think that you're not enough
Be enough
Be more than enough

Talk enough
Smile enough
Exercise enough
Do enough
Do more than enough

Eat enough
Dance enough
Don't be nuff
Love nuff nuff

Never let anyone make you feel like you're not enough. This is Mario's public service announcement for the day. Inspired by the statement "But you don't seem Jamaican", and "You don't sound Jamaican", and all the others throughout the years of my life. Always therapeutic to blog vent. Peace. And i'm ALL good. I know i'm enough!

2007-01-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

ONE WEEK

Hey people, it's been a week. This mature student is hangin' in there quite ok so far. Each day brings more and more new work, challenges and exciting experiences. Now i wonder what would have happened if i didn't come. Berklee is an amazing institution, especially for persons at my musical level. Meaning lots of raw talents and minimal/rusty music theory knowledge. They provide a good framework for you to be a good and functional musician. Ear training, sight reading, ensembles (small bands), private lessons, liberal arts courses. Not that this is a BERKLEE ad, but in the one week i have seen already just a fraction of what i can gain from Berklee, andit's impressive. I see where a lot of the money goes. Lots of equipment and stuff. At least when i come back i should be able to use all those programs on the Mac. Stangely enough we don't learn Pro tools here, but there are so many other software stuff we do learn. Since i'm already accepted, i have the option of seeing what the other majors are and maybe doing something different from what i thought i had wanted to do.

But anyway, lets do the quick recap of the week. Classes...Snow...Classes...Fatty Food...Band Audition...Bob Marley Ensemble Audition...Classes...GYM (yes i've started, and i've gone every other say since Sunday thank you)...Ensemble. yeah it's Friday. Of significance was the band audition. Which band is this? I myself not even know. I just read some poster about a band looking for a vocalist, and they liked a lot of R&B, so i went. And guess what they really liked it. I'm gonna really have to stop singing "Ribbon in the Sky", but it seems to bring me good luck...or i've probably done it so much that it's becoming mine. Well we rehearse on Sunday for the 1st time, so we'll see how dat goes.

The Bob Marley Ensemble audition was equally interesting. As the people there probably knew the songs better than I did (Hoe embarassing, but when u live in Jamaica you don't need to study Bob lyrics...like c'mon). it was kinda embarrasing, but i trooped it out. You know i'm a trooper. There's so much more i'd like to say, but i must keep this PC, and you know i'm the President of PC. LOL. I accidentally typed OC. Which brings me to ask if anyone has ever watched the OC on MTV (Like real rich kids living a Malibu kinda life who all talk like they're blonde)? Just wanted to ask. Let's just say some moments of my days are OC moments.

My ensemble today was awesome. My teacher is from Trinidad, and we did some real cool music, so i was real happy about dat.

This is a real lame blog. You have to write these things when you in a mood. I not feeling the flow. Logn and short is i'm happy, working out, and regret free. So keep tuned in cuz the madhouse is bubbling with rambling ideas to sputter out, like things I've learned. Lemme give you a snippet:

I've learned:
1. Many men spit in the urinal while or after urinating
2. Idiots span the globe, no matter how educated a population is
3. The YMCA has a communal shower (So gross!!)

I'll just leave you with those for today. I think they are quite thought provoking, so enjoy. Peace.
MARIO

2007-01-20T08:35:00.000-08:00

I'M HERE

Hey my friends, bloggers and blog-readers. I thought I would never ever get to writing this blog, and I know you all have your opinions about that. I clearly think I'm busy, maybe others think I have poor time management...Well all dat is really important is that I get the job done. It would not be appropriate to write this blog without first thanking Shauna, her family, and my wonderful friends for what they did for me on the Saturday before I left. It was great! I was happy, and it was good to see so many of you before leaving, especially in that setting.

Well I'm here peeps. I'm in Boston, and yes mi start twang already. Mi nuh have nuh shame. Yu cyaan go nowhere an ask fi W-A-T-A, it's clearly W-A-D-D-E-R, and said quickly in my token Jamerican accent, which clearly has them fooled since they all don't know where I'm from. But anyways, after American Airlines flight delays, being placed on standby, and fortunately not loosing any luggage, dad and I arrived to Boston, and it was cold...Very cold, well we thought, then the temperature on Wednesday was in the negatives (dat nuh pretty at all). Poor dad looked like a fish out of water. I know i not made for cold, but my tough papa wasn't liking it at all. Well i think i was more prepared than he knew. I had tam and scarf and gloves and sweater. He didn't have any gloves and initially no tam. So talk about ear freeze, nose freeze, mouth freeze... Jus crazy freezing.

Our first adventure on arrival was to get some food. Here is where I forget 1. How young I look, and 2. How serious they are about ID in the US. We went into some bar to get some food and this guy asks for my ID. I showed him my Driver's License, and dudey wouldn't accept it. He wanted my passport, which I left at the hotel. Since when is a National Driver's License not valid ID? (I guess once it's not their nation). Mi did well waan argue, but my good willed father was the calm one and said "Let's go"...Mi really forget where I was coming to. The bar next door quickly took our orders, but had to go thru the same ID routine. This time the Jamaican ID represented well. We nyam up an den we were back in the hotel, and to sleep we went.

Tuesday, Jan 16 - Orientation day. After you've been to UWI, any orientation is a breeze, an mi a talk UWI before 1999. Dem deh breed a registration and walk up an down weh wi did have to go thru. This wasn't hard really. A lot of activities, but jus required a little forward planning and it was cool. For those who are unfamiliar wid the vernacular, i can't help myself. My mind works in patois, even though many have never really heard much of it from my mouth :) I'm a proud Jamaican (Break out in song for the Singers people..."We are proud Jamaicans, la la la la la la...").

This is where we fast-forward though the Berklee stuff. Orientation yady yady, English proficiency test, lectures on campus facilities, placement audition...Oh did I say placement audition. This moment of the orientation was the best part for me. It made me feel like this really is where I should be. In this audition you sing a piece of your choice, improv (sing anything over what the pianist plays...Usually jazz), scat, and sight read. Of course unnu know seh mi sing "Ribbon in the Sky" by Stevie Wonder, cah a mi bread an butter. But guess who's burnt mp3 CD wasn't gonna play in the audition room. As we tried an tried, the CD seh..."Mi nah play, mi nah play, unu lef mi nuh". They almost made me sing another track which had started to play. Well dat CD choked as well. Good thing Ribbon is a popular song, cuz he then asked me what key I sing it in. I said "C" (it's really in "C#"). He then hopped on the piano and started playing it. It was nice too. He made a few mistakes, which I then tried to correct (it's your audition, you want it to go perfect). He was like JUS SING! So yu know the rambling stop right there, and I was singing my heart out. The other auditioner was grooving to it. They liked it. I then had to impov, and I just started to sing the blues...The first thing dat came out of my mouth was "I got blues, Berklee Blues....I got blues, Berklee blues". Snap thought...Is this the right song to be singing ay my Berklee audition? LOL. Ahmmmm think fast...."When it's cold outside I get me some Berklee blues"...Now we're on track. Then he says "skat". Lawd what if mi did come from country or was a musical retard an him seh sKat, maybe mi woulda start dance, probably tap. Granted I have never really skatted before. I was surely skatting now (Shure nuff a unnu woulda waan hear dat). Wow, dat went well too. I now have to sightread. "What key is it in?", they ask. "G Major" I say correctly, then we start. Didn't go bad either...Much better than the scholarship audition. Now we're finished and this is the good part. He says "You, you have the gift. You're a natural talent. You really moved me!. Have you ever had formal voice training". I say "a little". The he says "so most of this is natural", and I say "Yes", and he says "I thought so". He then offered his services even if he wasn't my vocal coach. That was the best audition I've ever had in my life. I finally realized that I had made most of the steps towards following my dream, and it was actually happening, and in a supportive musical environment.

Dat was the highlight of my week, maybe one of the highlights of my life. To be told that by someone who teaches at a Music college is a big deal. Kinda reaffirms the fact that you might actually have talent, and half of this musician battle is believing that you do. Well I kinda believed. He convinced me a little more, and I'm sure the tug-of-war will continue as we journey on. Pray for me and I will pray too to not compare, and just to make the most of me, MG, Mario and what I can do.

Today is Saturday, and I pick up my schedule. So I can let ya'll know what my days are like and when you can links me. I'll send you my info via email. AndI have a room phone and a mailing address now. Let all my friends know about my blogs, because I could never write all this in individual emails. And myself am averse to mass emails. To me blogs are much better. Personal emails are gonna become shorter now, but I'm here to work, so I can't be engulfed by this monster the laptop attached to the internet. I miss you guys, and love you all very much. The support you have given me has been unbelievable, and I am so far really happy. That's what life is all about, doing what you really love, and being happy. When you're happy you serve God better. There I go on the religious tip, but I am eternally grateful for the life I've been given. You hear me say it all the time, but "I really can't complain". God has been good! I'll continue to give you the blow by blow every couple a days or so, so bookmark me and check on me periodically. Peace.

MG

2006-12-01T03:40:00.000-08:00

What I've been waiting to say

Hey bloggers, i figured that this blog would come some time or another. It had been riding on my mind when exactly to write this blog, but i knew it would definitely have to be written. Where to start, where to start...

This blog is basically an expression of my experiences within this past year as it relates to me making some changes in my life. I had never ever known if i was the type with the balls to make a big move or radical decision, but i did know i was the type that would always seek happiness and honesty. And these qualities have created my journey. A journey of passion, maybe fate and hopefully destiny. This chain of events has again proven to me that many things in life work on a higher level than we can even appreciate.

Experience 1: My bredrin Rocky tells me about this band he's formed and i tell him i sing, and he says he'll link me about dat. Dec 2005 - Rocky links me to sing backup. I have now become a member of Rocky 5.
I tell Rocky that there is an audition to perform on the Ocean Spray stage at Air Jamaica Jazz & Blues Festival. Deadline is in 2 days. Rocky gets everything together and we audition.
Rocky 5 is selected to perform! We perform on the Saturday show in a prime slot, just after Kem rocks the place. We get extra time as the next main stage act is not ready. We can't believe we've just did this.

Experience 2: I decide to stop working at the end of Dec 2005 to take a break, study for some exams and figure out what i want out of life. I decide to take 3 months and start working again in April, but this time wid kids...gotta love em'. I apply for my new job starting at the beginning of April...who knows if i'll get work.

Experience 3: I decide i want to pursue music on a higher level and do some voice lessions locally. I'm inspired to take this to a higher height. This has always been something i've dreamed of, being an entertainer...making people happy through performance. I apply for Ithaca College to do theatre arts. My vocal coach suggests Berklee College of Music. I apply to both. Ithaca rejects me....Berklee offers me an audition in Boston.

Experience 4: I travel to Boston alone and audition. I think they like me. Mar 30 - I get accepted to Berklee College of Music. Oh i also got the job, i start working in a few days. I continue to sing backup. I'm happy that my plan is working...i'm confused, i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing.

Experience 5: I follow my friend to a rehearsal wid Benjy Myaz. He needs another backup singer, and i jus happen to be sitting in the room, greasy and sweaty jus there to observe. A guy comes dressed up to audition. He doesn't get the material quick enough. I start to sing. I get the gig. Have Smile Ja at 6am. He wants to know if i can do it. I say yes. We learn the material in a few hours. We perform in a few hours. I now sing backup for Benjy. He like Nats and I as a combo. He wants to do more work wid us.

Experience 6: Alaine need s backup singer. Her mom says ask Mario, he can sing. She asks. I accept. I now sing backup for Alaine. Only did 2 gigs, but it was great while it lasted. Alaine is a great person and performer...wish her all of what she deserves...MAD SUCCESS!

Experience 7: Camar pka Flava Unit proposes that i sing backup for him as well. I accept. I now sing backup for Camar, along with 2 of Jamaica's most talented male singers, Steven and Danhue. Keep in mind, Camar met me seeing me singing backup. He's another good and blessed soul, and it had been a great pleasure singing wid him and the other guys. Apart from my Choir Boyz i've never sang wid a group a guys dat can sing so damn good! Is this fate or is it just being at the right place at the right time...fate vs the performance dominoe effect. Whatever it is i'm liking it. And Camar, yu ago buss big big BIG...memba mi tole yu so! (And heah, keep me as backup lol...dat is if i don't buss too :)

Experience 8: I decide to put on a fundraising concert...my own production - This has always been a dream. I think of putting live music on the theatre stage...something i saw done before and i quite enjoyed it, plus quite different...I call it "Live on Stage". Damn, the theatre needs to be booked about 1 year in advance. Heah lemme ask anyway. There is an opening for the weekend of Nov 25/26. But i have no sponsors, how will i pull it off...i can always cancel..."Book it, i want that weekend!" I have under 2 months to plan a production with live music. It's now November, i know who i want to perform. Got no sponsors. Show is next week, we've only had 1 rehearsal. Show is tomorrow, our tech rehearsal starts 2 hrs late. This is our 3rd rehearsal. The band is not as tight as it could be. Not sure who my guest artistes will be for each night. Haven't gotten enough tickets out. What was i thinking. I've done everything almost on my own. It's showtime...the show is good, but it rained and there are a gazillion and 1 events this weekend...the Saturdayturnout is poor. It's showtime again...yesterday's show was superb, but long. Today the house is >half capacity. The show is a hit. Bertie donates a set. The tickets are printed by a printer on cardstock paper. The artiste and MC help for free. Profits measly but at least not in the red.

The audience is now aware i am going to pursue music in the USA. Yeah, is he a doctor? Why would he go an do music now? His parents must be disappointed. What's gonna happen to the medicine? But he's just an OK singer, will he make it anywhere? Why go to music school anyway? Wonder who's going to pay for it?

All these questions i need not answer for you, but now you see my events of passion and fate. This is what i want for myself. This is what i think God wants for me. I have plans to do som much with all i've learned and will learn. This story has many more acts of God that i cannot go into, but this is the general gist. At the end of the day i am so grateful and feel so blessed.

I wish for you all to follow your dreams and passions and don't be limited by age, or discouragement. You will only answer to one at the end of this life, and while you're here might as well you give back happily.

Thanks to everyone who has always supported me and made me feel like my desire to follow my dreams is well worth it. And thanks to all the haters who fueled my passion and still continue to fuel my passion even more.

Thanks for your time. Bless!

2006-11-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

LIVE ON STAGE

Hey all, jus wanted you all to know about "LIVE ON STAGE", a WAYMAR production.

“Live on Stage” is born out of our passion for music and an intense desire to promote new as well as upcoming local artistes, in an intimate theatre environment.

The production will be held on Saturday, November 25, 2006 at 8pm and Sunday, November 26, 2006 at 6pm, at the Philip Sherlock Centre for the Creative Arts.

Artistes slated to perform include myself (MG) (www.myspace.com/mariog1) , Natalie Spence (www.myspace.com/nls83 ) , Ellan Edwards (Rising Stars 2006 Contestant), Allicia Gaynor, the Choir Boyz, Rocky 5 Band, Camar (a.k.a. Flava Unit) www.myspace.com/camar, and tentatively Alaine (www.myspace.com/alainemusic), Airplai (www.myspace.com/airplai) and Benjy Myaz (www.myspace.com/benjymyaz ). These artistes, some of which you may be familiar with are all talented musicians, with a lot to offer.

This is a cyaan miss. Call (876) 331-9237 to reserve tickets or email liveonstage@cwjamaica.com . Also look out for the "Live on Stage" website!

MG

2006-11-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

Heah I'm Doctor!

It's real funny how sometimes u spend so much of your life training to do something, then you achieve it, then you have to pinch yourself and remind yourself that you actually did.

Occasionally i have these moments where i have to say "Heah you're really a Doctor". You know those times when people actually call you first when they have a problem, because they either one just need a doctor, or two genuinely feel you can make a valid contribution. And i appreciate that persons respect what i do, and that they think i am of sound mind to give them good advice...thanks.

The sad irony about being a doctor is that there are times when you hear comical things, times when things concern the hell out of you, and since we really are human...times when you wish you weren't being bothered. The 3 experiences do come with the territory though, so at the end of the day you must be professional so that no one really can decern which place you're at.

Again i leave this aspect of wow i'm a doctor for sake i become unethical and say things i regret. Medicine is a noble and humbling profession. I have no regrets that i did it, though there are other passions in life i wish to pursue. Dats for another blog tho, which will be coming to you before the end of the year (All who know anyting keep yu mouth shut). But i'm really a doctor and i'm grateful i can contribute to persons lives on a day to day, especially with the amount of respect i'm given i think i owe it to them. It's God's work through out hands.

Whatever you do in life, do it to the best of your ability, whether you like it or not. All your actions ultimately affect someone else, so execute them with alacrity and conscience. Think of what you would want if you were in their shoes and do all that you can do in your capacity to help them. God Bless.

2006-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

BEEN AGES

I haven't blogged in ages. Makes me feel like i've been neglecting my viewing public. Normal Mario would have said..."If any one is viewing", but heah there are webcounters, so i know some other sick people out there are reading the crap i write.

I have a lot to tell, but i like to write my blogs when i'm in the frame of mind to write, not when i tired and pop dung from work.

All i want you guys to know is dat if any year was the year my life made some serious changes it was this one. Or at least changes that i had the most to do with, and the most drastic changes ever. 2006 you definitely are a big one. The biggest one so far. I'd love to tell you all of 'em now but dat not goin happen. Let's sum it up into music, relationships, passion, work, aggression, my license expired (LOL), age, maturity, professionalism, honesty. Too many areas to list. But God has a plan for me and i also have a plan for myself, and i definiitely feel like we working together. So as we sort out mi ting, big up to you all and i hope you all sort out unu tings. Dr SS...nuff props to you. I definitely feel parallel wid you and what you're doing. And every day i realise passion is the drving force to success and it makes work pleasure. I don't want to think i am working when i'm working. I want to be paid to do something that makes me happier than i've ever know. Music does dat for me, so daz where it's at. Peace. Find your passion, and chase it like never before.

MG

2006-09-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

FRUSTRATED

Here studying for this USMLE exam and wondering, why am i doing it again? Giving Uncle Sam some more money so that he can tell me i'm qualified enough to apply basic medical principles to save a life, after studying numerous irrelevant facts. I think i'm just frustrated cuz i haven't had to study like this in a while and it's driving me crazy. The perfectionist in me can't accept getting answers wrong, but i just can't hold on to some of these things that i think i used to know many years ago.

Well right ya now is jus push thru mi ago push thru cah exam haffi do next friday, pass or fail. Might be better to fail cuz then i can do it over and get a better grade. Low pass nuh mek it. Once you pass it can't be repeated, and daz your grade for life. As u can see i am venting. Allow me to. What ya'll can do is say a lil prayer for me...cuz i for sure have been saying mine, as i am going insane.

You jus have to be the bigger person and prepare yourself for anything. Dreams of being a successful musician can fail in which case me an Uncle Sam might have to get close, and on his terms too...which means passing his 3 exams. So let's get at them one at a time. Maybe we can be friends, if i don't enter an asylum in the process.

Thanks for reading. Peace!

2006-09-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

CHOLESTEROL

Heah bloggers, you can usually depend on me to write blogs kinda like a journalist, really about social commentary, or my random thoughts on some random thing. Most times we don't reveal anything personal about ourselves, and that i don't mind. But today i speak out of guilt about something important to all of you.

To just cut to the chase, I HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL (Clearly volunteering to be the poster boy huh...nah not really). Apparently familial, so there isn't much i can do about it. I was initially on diet and exercise, then placed on medication, which i've been on for years now. I have a family history of heart disease amongst some other fun stuff.

But I had KFC twice yesterday and a slice of pizza, and i figured i must confess to the world that if i had a heart attack yesterday it woulda been my fault. Haven't been exercising much lately. But heah i usually get it together.

Just thought you all should go get your cholesterol checked, cause you never know. And if you choose to not care to know, then cut back on oily foods and do some exercise. Live healthy, live right. Something will kill you one day i guess, and we all have a medical issue. The best we can do is try our best to keep it under control.

Nothing much else to say really. I'm doing this blog as punishment to myself. So back to the books. Peace.

2006-09-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

The Hi5 Phenomenon

This blog has been long overdue, but i'm sure more now than ever you all can relate to some of these things, as it relates to Hi5.

When i had joined Hi5 it was just another one a dem forwards you get from your friend who wants you to try out this new website where u can link wid their friends. I had previously been on Friendster, which is actually quite similar...but Hi5 took the baton and ran wid it. When i joined Hi5, few person were on it at that time. Looking back i wonder why i joined a site that has the pet name for HIV (Hi5...see the similarity). May have been intentional...kinda like how HIV spreads rapidly, that's how contagious Hi5 will be. Back then i would have actually added like 1 or so persons that i didn't know. Can't say i do the same now...and we all know why we can't. I'll share with you some of my experiences and some that my friends have had.

1. Hi5 is great for seeing those friends you haven't seen in like forever, then all of a sudden you buck up on their picture and they're like married, or looking hot, or fat and pop-down. It all sounds wicked, but ya'll know these are some of the things dat go through your mind when you open these profiles...So Hi5, GOOD FOR REKINDLING OLD FRIENDSHIPS.

2. Hi5, for some a PLACE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE, and i mean really meet them. Like exchange numbers and go on dates and link up and whatever else people on Hi5 do. I've had my personally experiences in that department. I would say most have been good experiences. Some a little weird, but lets leave dat right there.

3. Hi5, a place to be STALKED. Can we say FREAKS! I've got so many request recently from persons i don't know, persons of the same and opposite sex, persons who I'd go to prison for if i even thought of adding them. This is where it's getting a little out of hand. It is called a friend request for a reason...the person should be your friend or at least an acquaintance. Please Hi5ers, i guess it doesn't hurt to try, but if you see dat 2 months have passed and you're not added, jus give up. Most people check their mail more than once in 2 months. Underage females, please be careful of what you're looking for....you might just get more than you bargained for. And young and old men exploring your sexuality...ahhm, stop taking shirtless pics, and stop trying to add me, and clearly if all your friends are male and have no shirts on as well...the rest can be left unsaid.

4. Hi5 a place to FAAAS! Faaas people neva coulda more happy, cah now dem can look pon dem fren and dem enemy page, and see which state dem in, and who dem friends is. If dem married or single, or if their friends are all shirtless, ugly or pretty. Den Hi5 go mek it so dat u can see who look pon your page. Well mi glad dem did do it, cah now mi know who faaasin inna mi business. All some people do a daytime is learn bout people pon hi5. Bad ting is dat you can disable dat feature, so now the faas people can still see your page an nobody don't know. Faas people, mind yu own. Well I really jus kiddin tho to some extent, as we all honestly use Hi5 to faas a lil. Dats the whole point of it, to see what other people are about. It does get pathological when you either spend the whole day doing it, or you keep checking the relationship status of persons to see when they become single (Like capital "L" on the forehead can i tell ya!)

I'm tired of typing now, but i could go on and on about this. Hi5 is not jus a place to meet people anymore. It's a science! I have learnt a lot. You can now play it like a game, and manipulate things to your advantage or disadvantage. Kinda scary if you tell me. But all in all i think the good from Hi5 has outweighed the bad for me. So at the end of the say and after all the freak messages and requests, BIG UP Hi5...you a di boss. LOL!

Here is where i should put my Hi5 link. LOL...if i were a freak, plus ya'll who readin this know it already. Peace.

2006-08-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

The Beauty of a Child

It bothers me that there are persons who don't like children, who mistreat and abuse them, who have no interest in educating and bettering them.

I work wid children daily, and have never been happier to do so. They inspire me more than they would ever know...and they make me sick at least once a month. They lack wisdom and maturity, but possess traits that many of us as adults yourn to regain or even gain, so as brutal honesty, appreciation of life and beauty in it's most simple form - an inanimate object can become alive in the imagination of a child. Illness is black or white, sick or well, for them. Very little grey or all that strange adult stuff like depression to cloud things up. And even when at their worst, there is often still a jolt of joy in them, as if oblivious to their poorly state.

Today again a kid made my day, as they often do. I visited the ward to check up on the progress of some kids I had admitted. I stood by the bed of a child whom I hadn't even looked on closely or ever met before. He played with my hand and said "Pencil", and I responded..."finger". I then noticed a large surgical scar over his head, an absent right eye and a clearly non-functional left eye. This kid that didn't know me continued to explore me the curious bedstander. He then said "Want to go drive", which he repeated about 30 secs after. He seemed to like the concept of driving. I figured this was something pleasurable for him when he could see. The child had a tumour called a retinoblastoma, a cancer of the eye, which is seen more often in children. He then rested his head on my shoulder and basically hugged me. I felt like someone's dad for jus a fraction of a minute. In that fraction i experienced many emotions of my own, as well as some that i imagined he might have been having. For instance his..."I want to be driving". And i was thinking..."This is what it feels like to be wanted and depended on". For him..."Can we go drive?". For me..."This kid has advanced cancer. Will he live for long? Why does this stuff happen to kids?", and for him..."Someone came by today and visited me"

The moral of this blog is that there are so many dimensions to this life and so much to be grateful for. So when next sweatin' the small stuff, remember that there is a small kid dats blind, but still happy, or there's a kid being abused and is afraid to tell. So thank you Lord for my eyes and all that you have given me and allowed me to see and learn.

This is a little insight on how I think, and how a fraction of a minute worth of interation can have a lifetime worth of effect. I'll never forget this kid. Matter a fact i think i'm gonna go visit him again soon. I'll give you an update. Peace. Walk good.

2006-08-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

TUESDAY NITE LIVE!!! Camar (www.myspace.com/camar) and Cezar (www.myspace.com/cezarmusicpage) ! 15.08.06

I just have to start by saying that I'm so happy there is a TNL, because it excites me to see local talent showcase their material in a intimate environment. It's good exposure and definitely something to do on a Tuesday nite, where you'll feel tired the following day, but not like you did after retroactive Wednesdays at the QUAD.

So Tuesday past highlighted Camar, with Cezar as the main act. Apologetically i was late so if anyone in the previous acts reads this is not a disrespec ting. I caught Camar's first song while parking...think it's titles "It's you". This blog is only gonna focus on positives cuz i'm not here to tear down my fellow entertainers, who are all doing things i hope to do soon. Flava is definitely a unique local R&B talent. Few voices sound like him, and actually have an international appeal. Love his music. He did a great job and i jus wish i'd see more of him...like on live shows and elsewhere. Flava where are you? Let's jus hope it's cuz there's something real big coming our way.

Cezar gave a solid performance, which i enjoyed. I'm proud to see him develop such a growing catalogue of songs. He apologized for being hoarse but he didn't crack as far as i remember. Props to you Cezar, and i hope big tings happen for you as well. But yu dun know mi haffi big up mi big fren Natalie who sings backup for Cez. Nats not only sang solid note for note pitch perfect, well blended backup, but Cez also gave her a buss on the Serenity riddim. Nats did "You got me" for the first time live, and get a big forward. Nats and i sing backup all the time, so mi jus haffi let the world know seh she a come haaard. Big up mi fren...I know you surprised many! And it was great seeing the shock on their faces.

To all the Jamaican musicians, big up unnu self. Hope to be on TNL one day before the end of the year if i can get my act together. We'll see how dat goes. Peace out till the next time.

MG

2006-07-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

Wha Gwaan CONT'D

I coulda jus extended yesterdays delayed blog, but last night was even funnier. When you think it's over. These things are all jus so chance tho. I end up at some Sunsplash promotion and of course there are free giveaways. I text the answer in to "Which venue is Reggae Sunsplash gonna be held at?"...Like duh Richmond Estate. We all had flyers anyways. The joke is that i end up winning a free Motorolla phone and a case of Sprite, which i had to go on stage and collect and i also got a mini interview from Ms. Kitty from FAME FM (dat was exciting)...did i ever tell you i kinda like fat women...anyways daz for another blog. So the cameras pop out and picture a tek, and i'm thinkin to myself, here i am on some stage again by chance. Maybe this really is destiny or am i jus NUFF (At least i'm not singin this time). LOL. You know i'm not nuff so don't even go there. Den yu shoulda see mi a cut thru di crowd wid mi case a Sprite...proud like! (Sarry, sarry!!...a cut an go thru). And one sketel gal she waan dip har han' inna mi crate. Mi tell her seh mi soon gi ar one, an she still a gwaan like she want it. And could you believe mi pap di case fi give her one. And she gwaan like she no want it. As if hot gal no drink hat Sprite. Lickle most mi tek it back. But she give her fren...who neva even seh tanks. Den widin 8 mins after dat, some hurry come up gal to the left of mi come over and seh "Can i get one of your Sprite?". Nuttin nuh betta dan Jamdown. The Sketel seh no to the Sprite. The more uptown girl run come fi it. What if i had said NO! That woulda been even funnier. Then my fren from Trinidad leans over to me and says..."That's why you must be wid a Trini woman, cah hot girl don't beg hot Sprite". Or maybe i shoulda been wid the skets. LOL. She clearly neva want it either. And if you saw what she was wearing...had no where to put it anyway. There is the end to another exciting nite in the life of MG.

POST BLOG DISCLAIMER: The use of the terms Sketel and the patois you usually do not associate with me, was not intended to offend any of our blog-readers but just for dramatic effect. You know in my world people are people. No skets or buttus, only unless you truly prove yourself to be one...and this is not class-specific, but behaviour specific. Peace :)

2006-07-29T09:09:00.000-07:00

Whaaa Gwaan!

Heah bloggers and blog-readers, just had to let you know about how weird these past 2 weeks have been in terms of musical exposure and jus general exposure. Makes you wonder if things really do happen for a reason. The first incident was me being in the studio audience for Rising Stars, to support my friend Ellan. Didn't seem like a big deal to me really. I had been there 2 years ago and no one cared, but this time around it seems like i was almost a contestant with the attention it brought from my co-workers. Kinda funny. I still have people telling me about it.

This would be followed by Tuesday Nite Live at the Village Cafe where i sang backup for a band i'm in called ROCKY V. Though terribly disappointed with the sound balance, it was a good experience and a nice performance. A lot of my close friends came to support me, and i really appreciated it. Made me feel like i was one of the lead singers the way they made it look. And that's real cool. Thanks friends.

So the week continues and i go to Sumfest on Saturday, which i thoroughly enjoyed. On returning on Sunday, by buck-ups I drop a friend of mine to a band rehearsal on Sunday and again by buck-ups end up singin backup for this great band. Lickle more mi deh pon TVJ Smile Jamaica a sing backup Monday morning. Again the coworkers are in shock and surprised at the same time. "It's him on TV Singing"...."Boooombaaat, a so yu a gwaaaaan!".

When i thought it ended, last nite I supported my friend Ellan at a work talent show and heah, she needed backup, so myself and some other singing friends who jus happened to be in the audience, ended up being backup. The audience could hardly hear us, but it was cool!

This blog really goes no where, but jus goes to show that ONE TING REALLY LEADS TO ANADDA, and as my friend would say...success is when preparation and opportunity meet. So always be prepared for anything. I could have said no to my Rising Star Studio audience ticket, and definitely no to singin on Smile JA after a long drive in from the country and no to singing backup impromtu at a staff function. When opportunity knocks, sometimes you jus have to open the door. Then more and more doors start to open. Blessed love!

2006-07-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

Guinep Seeds

This blog was really supposed to be talking about some of my recent musical expeditions, but i work wid kids and strangely enough guineo seeds seemed to have a heavier weighting right now. Just this week i saw 2 kids wid guinep seed emergencies. And since i've been working wid kids, i've seen at least one other...so daz 3 in a real short period of time.

As a Jamaican i always heard not to give kids guinep seeds, and now i finally can apprecite why. PARENTS DON'T LET YOUR KIDS EAT GUINEPS. Just this week i saw a kid wid one stuck just above the voice box. No heimlich was gettin dat one out. Luckily there were some skilled specialists in the vicinity who saved his life. I'm sure when he was sucking the sweet soft outside, he never imagined that the hard seed inside would have almost taken his life.

Just today i saw a kid who swallowed one yesterday, and he was cool all day, until this morning he started vomiting his life away. At first i was only thinking of it gettin stuck in the throat but not in the intestines. Well seems like this dudes guinep wanted to block him off. These kids were both big kids and also of different ages. Just goes to show what an 'innocent' guinep can do.

So lesson for today for the parents and for the non-parents...Don't SCREW wid Guineps. They could really mess up your kids. Peace out. Have to provide a little education for the masses!

2006-07-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

In the dead of night!

You know it's really amazing that in this little country of violence, where people shudder and drive painfully slow when it rains, that they would come out of their house in the dead of night! Well yesterday when Jamaica experienced its all island powercut (God knows why), the plans of many a night owl Jamaican were changed...well maybe not so many from what i saw. There was Special Delivery out at Caymanas for $3500 preseold and $4500 at the gate (conveniently for the promoters all the persold tickets were sold out; well it was convenient before the powercut), and there was Arabian Nights featuring the amazing Tessane Chin and Rootz Underground.
I was so uncertain if anyone would even consider having a function in pitch blackness that my brother went out first to see if it was really going on, then he called me. Well to our surprise, Norbrook had light (where the concert was). They also had Police and security and tonnes of cars on the sidewalk. I guess u can't cancel or postpone a Tesanne Chin concert can you...or Special Delivery for that matter. And i guess certain areas will get back light first (bitter huh).
But i was happy nonetheless cuz i was gonna see Tessane perform and that's always a treat. An you know any all- inclusive function put on by these people is gonna be legit! Island Grill, Curry goat, Chocolate fountains with dipable fruit (yummy), and a nice audience and Copppershot on the 1s and 2s.
But now that i'm telling you about what i didn't intend to, the focus of this blog is dat people in Jamaica will do almost anything for their entertainment. This country nuh boring at all. An for all those who tink it is, is you mek it boring for yuself. Nuff tings here fi do, and nuff nice peole to do it wid. Da country ya full a vibez and mad peole weh love lef dem yaad in all islan' powercut. But God bless Jamaica...wi vibes lan' out a many one people!

2006-07-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

I'm here gettin stuffy and feelin to be so expressive but can't seem to put my thoughts together. I hope i'm not gettin sick again. I was jus sick week before...an real sick. But i'm hungry, daz y i can't think. I'm also many other things...a lil disappointed, a lil angry, a lil pensive and a lil anxious...about what. I don't know really. This blog is jus gonna make me look a lil MAD! But at least i get to type and feel like i'm conveying how i feel right now. My colution to this is GO AN EAT. Dat usually works for me. Food can solve many problems. So i'll go do that. Maybe after that i can tell you something interesting.MG

THIS blog was written like a week before the publish date...Guess what i'm still stuffy but finally clearing up! There is a GOD!

2006-06-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh is the noise you make in your mind or literally make when you're frustrated. Today was an arrrrrrggggh day. The funny things about arrrrrrrrgggggh days is dat nobody may even know you're having one. Today as i thought the stress would never end, it jus kept acruing...kinda like credit card interest that's notpaid on time. But God as usual goves you the strength to pull through.

And the worse is the pain of learning. I did things today that i was proud of cus i had never done them before but at the same time made mistakes that i would have to feel embarrassed about. Really there was nothing to be embarrased about because mistakes are a part of life and actually how we learn not to make em again. But u can't help but feelin a lil' embarrased...it's jus that part of us that wants to be perfect and never screw up.

So to all a you blog readers. Arrrrrrrrggggh...i'm tired, i'm human, i make mistakes and sometimes i'm not pleasant, not kind and don't want to be around anyone. Big ups to anyone else who had an arrrrrrgggggggghhh day, and i hope tomorrow is not a repeat of today's arrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!